Biggie Smalls, Flat Juniors and Old Hollywood Glamour

Ok, it's Sunday afternoon but I'm finally able to to give you my play-by-play of yesterday's adventures. I'm just so busy, dah-lings! You must understand!

So! Saturday morning...... hmmmm......let's see......it's coming back to me.......yes! My first stop looked great from the street but they over paid for their crap initially so they wanted innocent yard salers to do the same. Folks, no end table on your lawn at 6:45 in the morning should ever, ever be $75! Nor should a cheesy mirror from Home Goods or Target ever be $45 even if it does have made-to-look-old door knobs on them. Ugh! It wasn't a total loss though. I did walk away with some fabric that will be sure to come in handy with my chair fetish. Enabler!!!

Next up was one of those yard sale moments when I think I want to die loving what I do I just don't want it to be today. My blue Toyota Sienna minivan had no business being that deep into the hood.....and yet I kept going. Even after a road block! There was a yard sale sign showing me how to get around it, in my defense. It's not like a gangsta was going to be hosting a yard sale with Biggie cd's and some do rags, right? Actually, a Biggie cd would have been an improvement to the crap they had. They did have two vintage cameras that were really different but she wanted $25 a piece for them! I had to be her only customer all day. How she let me and my $5 bill get away, I have do idea. Her loss.

Sadly, while escaping the hood, I did pull over and inspect a pile of trash in hopes that the table in the middle was worthy of shabbitization but the amount of urine on the mattresses beside it made me get back into my car with not one souvenir from the potentially urban disaster zone.

After that, because I'm clearly not politically correct and was punished for it, I completely drove past my next sale and you guessed it....into another hood. This time I had the sense to turn around and I found the street after all. At this sale, I bought two canvases for my daughter the 'painter' and a kinda cool t-shirt with a Kellogg's motif written in Japanese. Usually juniors clothes don't fit me or my rack so this was truly a find (even if I only wear it to run in!).

With my luck turned around, my next sale awarded me a fantastic large, long painting of a vase of flowers atop a table which sounds blah blah but there's something artsy about it and for $5, it made my whole morning!! Also, because it's a day and a half later, I am happy to report that it looks amazing hanging in my bedroom!!!! (I could also report that I felt like a hunter returning home to the village with [her] latest kill because the yard salers just arriving to that sale were all admiring my score with immense envy!!! [I don't how how you would spell a 'grunt sound' but please insert that now.....make it two!!!])

Moving on.......(with my showy plume of feathers in their full glory!)......I then went to a sale and bought not only a cheddar glass fish (for resale), an equally cheddar carved bear table (also for resale), a pungent foreign cheese lamp (do I even have to say it?) but also a rug for my bathroom! Ok, so it wasn't all that great but any time I'm at a sale and I have to make a second trip back to my van, it's worthy of some excitement!

So, that's a wrap! All in all, I had a pretty good morning, right? But wait! There's more! (I hope you just read that in your best Billy Mays voice [RIP]). So..... I came home and was supposed to meet my friend so I had a sitter but low and behold my friend was running late so I went back out and got a cute bracelet for moi, an easily sellable fish painting and a new purse that the gal said she brought back from Africa and never used! What a day!

Well, I hope this edition was worth the wait. I thought it would feel flat because I'm not riding my junk high but just thinking about all my goodies brought my buzz right back! I might start doing this Friday nights! Oooooo but then I might get too excited and not be able to sleep and then who knows what that would do to my saling mind in the morning. Yes, I think I'll make this the exception but ya never know dah-lings, (please read the following in your best Joan Crawford voice) I could very well have other social requirements of me that could keep us away again next Saturday morn! Ta ta for now!!!! (End raspy old Hollywood imitation....or keep it going. I think I might!)

Finds That Have Found a Home in Mi Casa (Happy, Niki?)

Ok, From top to bottom.....

My new plant perched atop my new column on my back porch.

New Post Office Sorting Boxes in the far right lower corner of my dining room.

New table where my kid's old bench used to be (Noah's Ark Bench in Shabby Blue can be found at Northrop's in Southport, NC! [See earlier posts]).

Old Painted Carved Bird (which I still don't have a better description for!) over a bed in my spare room.

And lastly, a picture of my purdy plant on top of this great old shabby column on my back porch!!!!

Check These Out @ Ivy Cottage

Going Postal, Zero Drag Queens and a Playdate

Yyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeessssssssssssssssssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Today.............was..................amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't believe I almost went to the surf competition at Wrightsville Beach instead. See, people! THIS is why I can't take a single Saturday off! Every so often I consider giving in to the temptation of sleeping in on a Saturday or perhaps letting my hair down on a Friday night but no can do! What if I had missed today? Huh?

So, the first sale on my list I knew was going to be great because I'd been to one of her sales before and it was spectacular. That time (which just so happened to be on my birthday!) I scored a tobacco basket (which I had been looking for for years!) for a mere Abe Lincoln! I also got a bunch of other treasures for a dollar a piece but this sale she asked for the business....and got it. But even if I could part with just one of my finds today, I'd make everything I spent back....and more! But I just don't see any of it leaving mi casa. No. Not lookin' good at all. (Sorry, hubby)

Well, now that I've hyped it up.....bet you're dying to know what I got. Here it goes.....are you ready.........none other than an old post office mail sorter!!!!! Complete with all the codes written on a piece of paper! I know!!! Cool as shit, right?! I also got a vintage washing machine (or at least the best parts of it!). It's so insanely amazing I can't stand it! I'm not sure what it's function will be yet. The lady thought it would be great for parties filled with ice and cold beverages of your choice but I need this sucker on display year round so I'll have to get creative....and a room addition.....but that's beside the point. Ok, I also got a great rustic side table (that I'm seeing painted up on my friend's new back porch). I got a fantabulous old red metal garbage can marked Sanette (where have you been all my life?), a cute picnic style tin in black with a floral print and lastly an old carved bird thing that even as I stand here looking at it, I can't describe it any better but it's fantastic! Seriously. This was one of my favorite stops ever!!!!!! Poor Jane is gonna hate me! Oh! I also got two old porcelain door knobs because I need a change in my bedroom and I'm going with panel drapes now and I'm thinking a bamboo rod with those as finials would just be too cool for school! (I'll let you know how that works out.)

After I left that sale, I literally was in a fog of euphoria. Surprisingly, I was in no great rush to get to the next sale because I knew that even though it was only 6:45 in the morning, my day was complete. Fortunately, I was able to leave La La Land and get back on track. I stopped at the high school where they were having a sale to take the students to Ecuador (please, Lord, let my kids get into the Lyceum program.....please!!!). I got a snazzy Loft sweater and a pretty (already painted and shabby!) frame.

Next up I got a beautiful pair of shoes (which are in Euro sizes so you know they're expensive) and a pair of Roxy flip flops. I normally never find shoes because I'm a size 10 and typically drag queens don't have yard sales so I'm s.o.l. but not not this time. (Incidentally, the lady having this sale was not a drag queen just cursed with Yeti extremities like myself.) I also got a plastic sandwich holder because the kids are starting school next week and hell if I'm always out of sandwich bags!

After that, I went to a couple of sales that weren't the greatest (especially by today's standards). I did get a child's coat rack with a vintage(esque) clown head on the top, a gumball machine (always sell well) and a beautiful old shabby column. I could have driven home after that and been delighted with today's finds but because this was an extra special day, I scored a great wooden step stool in the garbage on the side of the road! Is it Christmas or something?

So, there you have my amazing day. You can't possibly know how much it's killing me not to be playing with my new goodies right now! Where will I start first? Anyone want to come over and play post office with me? After 'work' we can enjoy a few cold ones out of my new super cool wash tub. Today is going to be a great day! Why aren't they all like this? Yard Sale Gods....I owe you one! You giveth me yet another splendid morning in ye Treasure Temple! Amen!

Decoupaged Vintage Recipe Book Pages on Kitchen Shelves

My New Zebra Print Dining Room Chairs!!!!

The Twilight Zone, Marty Feldman and Delusions of Grandeur

Today was nothing shy a Twilight Zone episode. Every sale I went to took sooooo damn long. I literally felt like I was trapped at these carnival houses! And just to add to the insanity, there were some hid-e-ous people out this morning. In fact, there could be another yard sale blogger right now writing about this smokin' hot babe at the yard sales today because compared to these mutants, I was Cindy Crawford in her prime! I want to tell ya'll right now about the gal at my last sale but you're just gonna have to wait! I'll try to get through this quickly....

So! I got up extra early because there were three sales that started at 6:00! The first was a fundraiser so I started there. I did get a pretty nice painting but mostly it was crap. The next two were across the street from each other but only one rolled out of bed in time for the sale (arrrrr!). As for the sole survivor....she should have slept in as well. I did buy a lemonade from her very aggressive children (good for them!!!) but that was it.

After that, I went to an estate sale (can be wonderful!) but the prices were staggering! In the garage, however, were goods that weren't marked so I thought I'd take a chance. There was no one to ask about prices so I had to wait on line. I waited for twenty minutes!!!!! By the time I was a couple of people away from Betty and Myrtle running the sale, my restless legs were going faster than the speed of sound! Luckily for my geriatric check out girls, they priced me right and I was finally out of there. I scored an odd old kid's chair with a really high back with a loop on the top. I don't quite get it but I love it nonetheless. I also got a beautiful old oil painting that Myrtle said her grandmother painted of a creek in Alabama. It's signed by Sara Long which sounded so familiar and sure enough, when I got home, I looked around my house and found another painting (this one of a barn and a field) by none other than Ms. Sara Long!! How crazy is that? Maybe I can open a gallery of her work. Aren't posthumous artists worth more money? I'll have to check tax records and other documents downtown to see if I can find any more of her relatives to stalk. When did I get so creepy?

My next sale, I realized when I pulled up, was where I bought my fabulous dining room table for $40 so I was excited but I must have bought all their goodies last time because they had slim pickins today.

After that was also a site of a previous score (some great, rustic plant stands) but again, another let down.

Moving on......my next sale was inside an old, cool bungalow and they appeared to be moving (oh, boy!) but what a time consuming disappointment it was!! As soon as I walked in, I noticed a great, yellow wicker table. I asked, 'how much' to which the man replied, '$5 unless you buy some other stuff'. Five was just too much for the table so I began to look around. After digging through all their boxes, I found a sort of cute print of ladies on surfboards. I asked a different guy the price but he told me I had to ask Steve. Well! Steve (with his loud, North Jersey accent!) was doing 'big business' on the phone about an 'antique piece' (that was particle board crap from the 8o's!!!) and I had to wait.....and wait......and wait........until finally I stuck the print in his face and he whispered, 'just put it in your pile' and I thought I was going to lose it! He noticed my mood and finally hung up with his 'big buyer' only to tell me the print was $10!!! At that point, I put both over priced items down at his feet and finally, finally got out of there! What the hell was going on today? I can usually be in and out of a yard sale in under two minutes with great finds under my arms! Why was this morning so different?

..........and different it was!! The next sale was in a neighborhood that has had bogus sales the last few weeks but this one had signs so although there was nothing on their lawn, I just couldn't take it anymore and I knocked on the door. Just after I did I realized I was psycho and I turned around. Sure enough, as I was pulling away, a man wrapped in a towel came to the door. What the f*^# was going on this morning??????

The next sale had crap Goodwill would turn down but I still left with a pair of glasses with lobsters on them. They were red (you know that's my weakness!) and a dime a piece so why not? Unfortunately, my purchase led her to tell me her life story and I wanted to shoot myself but when I die I don't want it to be on Throw-Mama-From-the-Train's front lawn. Man was she a looker!!

Finally, my last sale was in the backyard (which tend to be good ones) but not this time. The sale, so help me God, consisted of two plastic lounge chairs, rusty tools and a sheet with six items of clothes that the world's ugliest woman was laying out. Not only did she have a severe lazy eye but she talked really slowly. All of that could have been over looked but she looked so much like Marty Feldman, particularly from Young Frankenstein, that it was uncanny! I think I gasped when she turned around! What the hell has my life come to? What am I doing with these people every Saturday morning? Can't I be a normal mom and take my kids to soccer? I guess at least I have my looks. Then again I'm going by this morning's bell curve. Maybe next, I'll get a bite to eat at The Waffle House! I could do some shopping at Walmart. Maybe even stop by The Division of Motor Vehicles! Man, I could ride this wave of delusional beauty for a week if I tried! Keep your comments to yourself, people! It's been a loooong morning!

Shabby Aqua Blue Pie Crust Tabble now at Ivy Cottage!!

Left is a pic of my super

cheap pie crust table

before paint and shabbitization.

...............AND HERE SHE IS AFTER!!!!!!!!!!!!

National Pride, New Yard Sale Commission and Dreamy House Projects

I don't know. It must be getting closer to the 4th of July or something. All I know is that the Yard Sale Gods clearly have picked lil' ol' me to put on one hell of an American extravaganza here on Wrightsville Ave!!! I've been saying for years that I've wanted to get on the cover of the newspaper for the 4th (with my 15' painted flag on my garage and all) but now I have no excuse. I literally bought thirteen flags this morn from big to small (one for each of the original thirteen colonies maybe?). I plan to put one on each of my fence posts and hanging the mac daddy from the upstairs balcony! Hot diggity it's gonna be a sight!!!! Throw my son in, chasing a hen and Norman Rockwell, himself, might rise from the dead to capture the moment! It's seriously torturing me right now writing this YSM installment when all I want to do is play with my new stars and stripes!!!! Let's just move on (quickly).........I'll start from the beginning...............

My first sale was terrific but their prices were too steep. Ditto for the second one (one street over in the same nice neighborhood). I would write that sales in this 'hood are too rich for my blood but then a third freestyle appeared out of nowhere and I got a great old (the man said at least 30 years) gumball machine! It even has vintage gum in it (which he begged me to throw out when I get home.....we'll see......might finally teach 'em to listen when mama says 'no!'). Anyway, I'm so excited. I think I'll swap out the one I have in my kitchen for this one. The small one I bought a few weeks ago just sold, too, at my store. How could you not love a gumball machine? How??

So, after that I hit a sale that was enormous but strictly clothes. Really?? After that was a sale at the bowling alley and I was hoping to see my guy with the old bottles but he wasn't there. The rest was crap. I'm starting to think this new 'flea market' they've been trying to build is a week away from gen-u-ine Polex watches and perhaps some Cucci if you're lucky!!! Not this girl. I already done put my time in sporting imitation timepieces and their expectant green wrists of shame.

My next stop was supposed to be a 'neighborhood sale' but it was just two ladies and a combination of $10 max in profit between them. I'm thinking I might nominate myself as head of the Yard Sale Commission and start fining people for false advertisement. I will also write citations for those who neglect to take down their old signs (and send innocent salers on quests for sales of days gone by). Also, as head of the YSC, I will force people to disclose in their ads if they have only baby shit to sell. On top of the fines, I will force habitual offenders to pay in an ever changing location that will have signs that may or may not lead to an actual establishment. The profits will go to a City of Wilmington van that will collect all items if any given sale has no actual ability of making and significant money and take those items directly to Goodwill where they should have been taken in the first place!! Yup, I'll clean up this town! One bad Christmas gift at a time! Can you hear America the Beautiful or is that just me?

Where was I? Oh.... so, finally I got to a sale where I would buy my first flags of the day. They're two vintage ones that I bought with the intention of making them into pillows but that might have to wait until the 5th because the sale after that inspired the patriot in me! I got a huge flag (as tall as me!) and ten hand-held-parade-wavers! Man, what a score!!!! To boot, I also bought a delicious lemon cake and a very old scrabble board!! I would have left there singing Yankee Doodle Dandy but that damn cake was so good I was forced to hum! Does it get any better?

Indeed it might. The sale after that was at a friend of a friend's house and I got four fantastic old windows (that will go with my hundreds of other fantastic windows for my 'greenhouse project' [someday] or even dreamier would be for the house I'm going to build [one day] on our lot and use these as kitchen cabinet doors........ahh............a [poor] girl can dream!!). But get this....... I got them for FREE!!!!!! She also gave me a shirt for my son and a basket of her friend's that she tucked away in her locked car because she knew I'd like it! I had to cough over a buck for that since it wasn't hers but what a stupendous stop it was!!!!

My last sale I scored yet another scrabble game. Blah, blah. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got a staple gun in the garage calling my name! For those of you in the area, give me a honk when you see my soon to come, over the top, ode to the 4th! Clark W. Griswald had better step back and take lessons from the master!!! Anyone know where I can get a cannon?

Heat Wave Sale going on at Northrop's Antique Mall!