why so grumpy?

I was in a grumpy mood last night and sure as shit woke up a grumpy dog this morning. Even when I pulled in the driveway with my goods for the day, I was still pissy. Then, as I looked at my mound of gold, I just turned that frown upside down. All in all, it was a great morning!

So it began with my best yard sale bitch, Jane. Jane broke rule #1 of saling (which is not to drink the night before) and was having stomach issues. This took us on a few detours to bathrooms but really didn't slow us down much (she's lucky!). Our first few were a bust (really helping my mood). Especially the restaurant that's been advertising for weeks and nothin'! They're lucky they have awesome freak-show karaoke on Friday nights or I'd boycott them for good!
Then we pulled up on one that I thought was going to be some college girls selling their lava lamps but it turned out pretty swell. I got a fantastic old metal fireplace insert. It's fucking beautiful! Unfortunately it had 100 year old soot though and through me in a tizzy because my hands were filthy. Morning dew and a napkin saved the day though. (Honestly, I could never shower again and live a happy life but a little dirt on my pinky and I'm scrubbing like a surgeon). So, neuroses aside, off to the next one.
This scored me a mirror and a cheesy lazy susan that I'm thinking will shabby nicely. We'll see.
From there we went to a sale that our other yard sale buddy was having. We see her every week but she's so damn nice we just can't hate her. I want to. I just can't. Her shit was great too! I got a terrific rocking chair that's perfect as is (rare!!!!), an old ice bucket (I have a thing for these) and a doughboy table. Fitting these in Jane's truck was interesting, however. Luckily our Tetris skills paid off and we pulled away like we were crossing the border!
Next I paid too much for a step stool (especially since Jane bought the most fantabulous old chess set for a mother fucking dollar and she told me five for the new step stool! Seriously!) Well, I got it for $3 but still! The nerve of some people!
Ok, I'm getting worked up again.........namiste...........ok, I'm good. So, then we went to a big yard sale. Looking back, what the hell was that? I don't think it was a church. Was it a senior home? Not sure. It was good though. Jane, the whore, got an amazing school map of Wilmington (may her grandchildren have hare lip!!!) but I did get a cheesy print in a fantastic frame, a globe in golds I've never seen before, 2 great bulky odd matching chairs, a book of barns and my fav of the day....a pair of old wooden salt and pepper shakers or actually "Salty and Peppy" as they're named and they have painted faces on them and they're red and I can't believe my kitchen's made it this far without them! My life is complete.
At that point we were driving with one of the chairs in my lap (and jabbing into my gut) with it's partner about to give Jane traumatic brain injury if she stopped too short. Luckily we made it back to my driveway without my ever having to feed Jane through a tube.
Looking back, not a bad day. Why was I such a douche?