Just in Time for Last Minute Christmas Gifts!!!

Check Northrop's in Southport or Ivy Cottage in Wilmington for these perfect Christmas gifts!!!

Happy Holidays

-The Mama

Drugs For Breakfast, Apple Apps and Local Identity Theft

Good morning Yard Sale Mama readers!!!!! I have been away much too long!! I have been out saling but just haven't been able to fit this in. Feels good to be back! We have soooo much to talk about!!!

I must say I wasn't giddy yesterday when the weatherman said our chance of rain overnight went from 70% to 30% and even that was mostly inland. You know I loves me some yard saling but this girl is exhausted!!!! Between Christmas craziness, a sick kid and studying for the GREs (which I took yesterday and I'm tickled to say I didn't do THAT bad considering I haven't had geometry since 1987!!!), I'm just a little burnt out. I reluctantly checked out the listed sales last night and where there are usually over one hundred there were only 27. Of those, there were only seven in my 'hood but I set my alarm for this morning none-the-less.

My first sale was literally around the corner but the losers decided not to have the sale. My second sale also slept in but at least they were setting up....just starting (with kid's crap) so onto number three even though they had advertised a 7:30 sale.

I got there at 7:02 and they were jammin'! Her prices were a bit much but I did score an old, 1980s (damn, did I really just call that old???) Coleman cooler. I can't decide whether it's for The Mama to use as a porch planter next season or to sell. Might just mark it high and let the gods decide. Hell, it would even be cute for storage in my son's room. Decisions, decisions!!!!

Well, at this point it was only 7:06 and my other sales weren't until eight so I got some gas which just so happens to be next to my favorite coffee shop selling jalapeno egg bagels. I swear they're baking some sort of additive into them because I am completely addicted! They're just so warm and fluffy with just the right kick of Mexican goodness!! Oh....I want another one right now!! Damn you, Bagel Basket and your laced carbs!!!!!

So where was I? Ah, yes. So then it was about 7:18 and I had more time to kill. I figured I'd restructure my sales and drive to the furthest sale first. 7:23........Guess I'll play Hanging With Friends on my phone since their stuff wasn't out yet. I seriously can't get enough of this game. What kills me though is that my 'friends' aren't as addicted as I am so I can't make any moves until they do. I have the maximum amount of open games as it will let me but I still plow through my moves in no time at all. I've recently discovered that the larger the words (even if they are more points), the more likely my 'friends' are of solving them just by having more letters and greater odds of picking the right letters. So, Hellolawra, wherever you are and whoever you might be......I'm on to you and you're going DOWN!!!!

Seriously! What the hell am I even talking about this morning??!!!! Ok, so at 7:35 number four finally started to bring their goods out. Wouldn't you know two freaks pull up and get to their lawn before me and snatch a totally cool wood cabinet (already painted!!!) for $10!!!!! To make it worse, he's a 'professional' saler that I see all the time who always asks people if they have any old yearbooks for sale. I can't for the life of me figure out what he does with them I can only assume he's into identity theft and if I were a better citizen I'd report him. Oh well. After the big bust goes down I'll be sure to let them interview me on the news with a big look of shock and disbelief that someone in our lovely community could do such a thing! I'll go on to say, "You know, I write a blog....called The Yard Sale Mama....theyardsalemama.blogspot.com.....and I am just so saddened by this betrayal from my fellow neighbor!" Next thing you know Matt Lauer is interviewing me and my boyfriend, Mike Wolfe is calling wanting to meet me....... This could really go quite well!!! I might just have to bust out my old Cougar Cubs from 1989. I'm sure Seth Goldberg would understand. Did I mention I did purchase a great old pie case? I think I got swooped up in all the potential fame business!

I should really be on focus meds!! Back to saling... so my number five sale was a bust at first but then some DVDs caught my eye. As I was flipping through I found three of the new shit Star Wars movies that my son LOVES for a buck a piece!!! When I went to pay, the lady asked, "Well did you see these?" and then proceeded to pull out the Star Wars Trilogy STILL IN THE BOX!!!!! Sweet mother of god!!! I just made my son's Christmas complete!!!! I've looked to buy these so many times but individually they're so pricey LET ALONE THE BOX SET!!!! Oh Yard Sale Gods I bow down to you!!!! May you give me everlasting junk!!!

My sixth sale was at my friend's house. She recently sold her wares here when I had my very own yard sale but her stuff was so great I took the risk of rummaging through sloppy seconds in hopes to find that one treasure that slipped through my grasp. Turns out such a treasure didn't exist but if anyone local is reading this you need to get your ass over to Kenwood and buy, buy buy!!! (If you scroll down to prior posts she is who I bought the awesome queen quilt, Christmas tree light bulb garland, Thing 1 hat, two vintage books and vintage ornaments from. Good stuff!!!)

Ok, I've done my good friend/public service announcement for the day now on to my last sale. This one was held at the bowling alley that they have once a month. For some reason I never get excited for it but I've never left empty handed. This time I bought a cool old 'Inner Ear' school sign (that as you can see I've already put up into the kids' school room) and not one but four gigantic old movie projector reels from the old College Road Cinemas!!! They are so insanely cool but I have NO idea what the hell I'm going to do with them. I've always thought it would be cool to a Mollywood theme in my daughter's room and the reels would make a great O's but who knows. Wonder what he thought he was going to do with them??

So! Aren't you glad I'm back? Do you people even read because you like yard saling or just because you like feeling better about yourselves that at least you're less crazy than that rambling yard sale gal. Either way, I'll take it!!! Happy Holidays to ya'll and as always.....thanks for reading!!!!!

May 2012 bring us all nothing but good cheer and great finds!!!! (and may you resell those finds to me at a later yard sale!!!)

**** (The last pic is of the wall shelf from last weekend that's been through shabbitization)

Yard Sale Mama's Yard Sale, Vintage Cake Icer and Today's Booty

Just some pics today, folks. Not feeling so hot. Write a comment if you have any questions.

Santa's Elves have been busy in Northrop's!!!

Sorry I've been slacking on my blogs! My rotten child started basketball and the practices AND games are on Saturdays!!! Oh what we do for our children!!!

Also, if you can, come to my Black Friday II Mega Yard Sale tomorrow at 8.

Yard Sale Santa, Feeding Tubes and Kitchen Bacteria

I don't know who I was kidding when I told myself last night that I wasn't going to go saling this morning! Sure enough, my innate Saturday morning alarm clock went off in my head just in time for the job!!! And what a day I had!!!

Right from the start I scored a huge (brand new with tag!!!) Sponge Bob Square Pants stuffed toy for a buck!! Thank you, Yard Sale Santa! I also got a new (in box) men's shave cream gift set (you didn't just read that, hubby!) It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas 'round here!

My next sale was part deux to a sale from a few weeks ago that was way over priced but this time they got hip to the laws of saling and I bought a fantastic, very old painting of an angel, a great old (-esque) planter, a bird cage and two gigantic wine glasses that I wish I'd had when I was nursing (....What? Dr. said one glass!!!) all for $8!!! AND they served coffee!!! Way to take yard saling up a notch!

Next up I bought a great old blue tool box, four needlepoint hoops (that I KNOW I wanted last year for a Christmas project but hell if I can remember what) and a super cute old Betty Crocker Party Cookbook that if nothing else has the best illustrations to use for decoupaging. They also had a nice end table but since she wanted $150, I had to pass. Really, people????

Next I went to the most fabulous yard sale ever only problem was that someone else had gotten there just before me! And it was none other than the owner of Thrill of the Hunt!!!! Damn her! She got a fantastic old hall tree (you know the tall thing you put beside your front door for hats and umbrellas), a great old pickle jar, several antique tables....and that's just what I saw the whore loading!!!! Well, I did walk out of there with 50 feet of rope but I'm now weary of using it to replace the rope for my tire swing because it's a natural fiber and even if I double it....I just don't know. Even thrifty Yard Sale Mama can spring for the rope that would prevent her kids from needing a feeding tube. Well, there's a lovely thought!!! Between that and the alcohol abuse while nursing, I should nab Mother of the Decade with no problem!

Ok, next up was a church sale where I scored not one but two butter dishes! This is particularly exciting because now I won't have to yell at my husband for using the dish over and over and over. Babe, that's nasty! I also got rubber boots for my hubby which he has been asking for forever (shhhhh.....it's a surprise!), a wooden paper towel holder (dying to be painted) and a whole bag of corn on the cob holders which is great because we had that for dinner last night and we only had five. How the.....?

Wouldn't you know, right around the corner was another impromptu church sale! There I got an old printer's drawer and a bucket of old white porcelain knobs. I have a ton already but for fifty cents??? I had to!

Well, after that I was about to go home but noticed a sale going on in a little shop that closed down. There I got a wonderful old frame, an old watercolor of a farm scene in a great old frame (that I HAVE to keep!!), a painting of chianti on table still life in an equally gorgeous frame and a wooden wall 'thing' that I'll paint and hope to be more creative with my description for resale.

So that's my story! I had one hell of a good day. Can you believe all my new treasures???? Truth be told, though.... I can't stop thinking about that hall tree! I wonder if she has a blog. Bitch is probably all.... 'can you believe my fabulous new hall tree....isn't in wonderful!!!!' Whatever. Might go try to hang myself with my new rope. Watch it snap and I'M the one with the feeding tube! Then you know hubby would NEVER switch out the butter dish! Now you know why he gets rubber boots from a yard sale for Christmas!!

You Know You Need 'Em!!

Everything (but the chicken) now at Northrop's in Southport, NC!!!! The picture isn't the best but come see the vintage doll clothes pictured on top of the blue table

Sears Dress Form

Do I even have to mention that I went back and got the Sears Dress Form for $30?????????





He really didn't stand a chance!!!!!!!

Avoiding Assault, Locked Van Doors and Whore-able Mothers

Let's just say this morning was interesting. Right from the start I decided to adjust my route which always makes for too many decisions to make before 9 a.m. Originally I was going to go to a house sale first but it's really dark at 6:40 in the morning and I decided to avoid needing a rape kit and headed to a builder's parking lot sale instead. It sucked. So much for my purity...off to the house sale I went. It turned out to be two young women having the sale. They were quite friendly too, at first, offering me a cup of coffee even, but once I proposed to pay $10 for a $20 table my offer for java was no longer on the proverbial table (and certainly not on my $10 one!).

My next sale I bought a great silver candelabra (with candles!) and I really debated over a creepy vintage Santa ornament but it came in a bag of other ornaments that weren't so great and I've promised myself that I wouldn't spend more than 50 cents on anymore ornaments unless Mr Rockefeller himself asks me to trim his famous tree, so I had to refuse. Seriously, if Hoarders does a Holiday edition I just better look good for the camera because I'll earn them an Emmy with my amazing (scary large) collection. Ohhhhh.....now I'm really wanting it.....help!!!!!! (Note tremendous pout from The Mama)

OK, moving on. My next sale I bought a great old Avon jar in a really pretty aqua blue for a mere dollar but when I skipped back to my van with my score I went to open the door and............f#*k!!!!! I accidentally locked my doors with the keys in the ignition!!!!! I ran back to the lady having the sale and I told her of my unfortunate foible. She told her husband who got their neighbor who called his son and after no time at all the son arrived with a slimjim. With the six of us surrounding my van we were noticing that the rubber strips around my windows were quite tight. Each testosterone hosting male, eager to help a damsel in distress took a turn at popping the lock with the slimjim but to no avail. Each were conjuring up new plans of ways to open the doors when the wife came back and looked in the window and asked where my keys were. I replied that they were in the ignition. She looked again and pointed out that they were in fact not. We all looked in and scratched our heads and furled our eyebrows but then all of a sudden I did something I hadn't done. I checked my pockets. SURE AS SHIT...THERE THEY WERE!!!!! What a stupid ass I am!!! I'd swear I felt there earlier but with all my bundling for this harsh fall weather (and my own 'natural insulation'...ie fat) I guess I missed them. Everyone got a good laugh. Har har har. Really funny. I have got to stop peroxiding my hair. Some is clearly seeping in and affecting my brain!

Well, then. Where were we? Oh yes....so my next few sales were drive-bys. Why anyone would set up their four items of baby shit in this cold weather is beyond me! (Note angry sigh) Finally I got to a sale that seemed worthy of stepping out of my heated van for. I scored a fantastic Land's End down vest in a fantastic olive green that fits to perfection and only set me back $2!!! I'm just giddy over it!!! I also talked to a fellow yard saler that I see every week and have grown quite fond of and she offered me a job helping her daughter do her senior project for event planning but unfortunately it's for next weekend and I will be in NYC with my two friends and our three daughters (don't hate me dah-lings!) so again I had to refuse. Bummer because I really would have loved to have helped. So much to do....so little time! (I hope you read that in your best Lauren Hutton voice!)

Next up I bought a great wooden plant stand and a chrome serving tray with three glass compartments and three cute forks. I just love props for fine entertaining! (If you knew my cooking you'd agree they're just props. I always say, 'Make it look pretty and they won't know it's bland!' .....Well, that and 'Get 'em good and drunk!') F U, Martha! That works too!

Well, my final sale was a glorious spread of lovely antiques. It was also glorious spread of antique store priced antiques. I so wanted an old Sears dress form for my future fashion designer daughter but he wanted $50 and would only come down to $40 despite my sugary sweet charm. Bastard! He did sell me a nice old pickle jar for a buck but I can't stop thinking about the former. Looks like I'll be hitting 'publish' and driving back there. Well, I guess since I didn't need the rape kit at my earlier sale I should just...... Come on! Sally Field did it for Forest! Dear God! The peroxide is definitely seeping in!!!!!!!

(BTW, the last pic is from last week when I did go saling but did not blog since I was preparing for our Halloween party.)

Northrop's Newest Additions

Get 'em while they're hot at Northrop's Antique Mall in Southport, NC!!!

Insomnia, Yard Sale Schutzstaffel and Discolored Toilet Seats

I'M SO EXCITEDDDDD!!!!!! What a morning I had!!! It started crappy because I had insomnia and I woke up at 4:11 and couldn't go back to sleep. But then I remembered that my friend drove by a church yesterday in Hampstead that was setting up for a yard sale and she said it looked like it had some good stuff. I humored her then and said I'd think about it but to drive all the way out to Hampstead and to be there at 6:30am....... I just wasn't a playa'. As it turned out, by 5:45 I couldn't adjust my pillow one single more time so I hit the road. After driving for twenty minutes I was seriously regretting my decision. When I finally got there, it was pitch black, there were tons of people, the gals hosting the sale were Nazis about where they wanted us to enter (I actually got yelled at!!!) and it was much too confusing in their little mouse maze to navigate around. I did score a large wooden doll cradle, some sort of skateboard that my son's been asking for, a great vintage tea towel (that's written partly in German...oh boy!!!), a kinda cool new chicken vase, and lastly a mega cheesy plastic golfer's ice bucket that will unfortunately sell in a heartbeat. I almost left with not of one item, though, because their 'uber efficiency' had people entering and exiting in only one spot and it backed people up at least twenty five deep just to pay!!!! To make matters worse they insisted on writing everyone out a receipt to allow us to leave their camp with proof we had paid! I'm surprised they hadn't scribed "Arbeit Macht Frei" at their gate!!!

Once I had liberated, I drove out of there like a mad woman. I heard someone mention another church sale 'right up the road' but I was stressing I was going to be off my perfectly plotted yard sale route that I had timed with precision. You know what happens when you're just a few minutes late to a yard sale!!!! I was about to scrap it and just head to my #1 but then it appeared. They didn't have much but I bought a huge trio of metal sailboats that will sell so fast it will look like a regatta leaving my shop!!! I also got a great frame with glass that will shabbitize stupendously, a gor-ge-ous painting of cypress trees that I can't wait to paint it's frame and hang somewhere on my own wall and last but definitely not least..........an oak toilet seat!!!! Yes, of course I'm serious!!!! You don't understand....the one I have is actually rusted from my son's rotten aim. Not to mention it's an odd spotty yellowish color (No! Not from that!!) from my obsession with bleaching the damn thing. Seriously all you men folk out there.....Just SIT DOWN!!!!!! You don't see us ladies standing on the seat and quasi aiming for the bowl!!!! I mean, sure I've tinkled on my feet and the surrounding area after a couple of potent potables....but I was tipsy....and I feared sitting on the nasty seat! Unless my son's apple juice has fermented.....he really has no excuse!!! (That goes for you too, hubby!!!) Well, anyway, this should buy me a few years before the next seat.

On to the actual first sale on my list...... This was the one I was so excited about!! It was a cub scout sale that they have every year at Wilmington Christain Academy that never disappoints! I thought for sure I was going to see people leaving with their wonderful finds that this late bird couldn't have but the worms were still plentiful!! I bought a fantastic old still life oil painting (that I soooo love!!), a great coffee table and my treasure of the day..... a dresser/mirror combo with carved sailboats and anchors!!! It needs some love but it is beautiful!!! And the best part...she originally wanted $35 but I didn't have that so I kept walking. Then, I went back and asked if I could just buy the mirror. To that she said $20 for just the mirror. I looked in my pocket and I only had $16 left. She saw my sad face and gave them both to me for the $16!!!! Can you believe it???? Man, what a steal!!!

So now I had technically only gone to the first sale on my list and I was broke. Luckily there was a Wells Fargo not far so I replenished my funds. The rest were downhill, however. My last hour only fetched me a 1950's Turner print (that I really only wanted for the frame) and a hand carved Honduras box that I can't wait to give to my half Honduran baby neighbor for Christmas with a coat of fresh paint but shhh....it's a secret. So, that about wraps it up. It's been a long time since I've come home with a packed van! Now if you'll excuse me...I can't wait to go play with my new goodies! How can a girl get so lucky? A red vintage tea towel and a toilet seat all in one morning!!!! Who needs sleep anyway????

(Oh and I've included another small pic from a thrift run last week so stay tuned for the afters!!)

Thrifty in Hilton Head, Minivan Ads and Homeowner Prostitution

I think the days of reporting in while high on yard sale crack are over. Between tee-ball and sleepovers, I am now officially in the chauffeur stage of motherhood. I'll try to recall the best I can yesterday's saling adventures with only the help of one very cold cup of coffee.

Actually, let me back up a bit. I had some great pics of some furniture projects but my old memory card claims 'file has no data'. Anyone know a remedy for that? Anyway, here's a pic of a table I just couldn't part with that now resides beside my front door. (I'm never sure where the pics will wind up on the blog since I am a technology dolt but I believe it to be on the left.)

I'm also going to add some finds from a thrift store I went to on my recent trip to Hilton Head Island along with some shots of our vacation.... (I believe these will be on the right but again...who knows.)

Now we're caught up. Here's two pics of yesterday's booty (you lucky dogs!) because 8:30 came just a little too early and I went back out, with kids in tow. (I should be in a minivan ad!!!!) [I have NO idea where these pics will be but should be the largest. Should.]

Ok, so the alarm went off at 6:30 and it was as painful as if it were thrown at my head. It's now officially cold in the mornings along with being pitch black so I was really questioning my means of earning a buck. My first sale was awkward because I sort of knew the gal and although she had nothing but kid's crap, I had to look over everything like I was truly interested in her fine offerings. (Ugh! I could have slept ten minutes longer!!!)

My next sale also had kid's crap but they had older kids so I scored two fur rimmed sweaters and a cute shirt for my daughter and my piece de resistance..... a wooden multiplication game that still had the box! Hello, Christmas present!

Next up was a big sale at the Greek church where I snatched up a soft, cow print pillow, an ugly glass jar set that will shabbitize like no other and three glorious yards of the most beautiful fabric! I'm not talkin' the $7.99 per yard stuff but the fancy fabric displayed on the horizontal bolts!! It's very girlie so I'm not sure what I'll use it on but when that piece presents itself it will be like the union of chocolate and peanut butter.... or my dining room table with that 1950's tablecloth from a few weeks ago.... or me with that hot guy that used to be on CSI Miami that's now married to LeAnn Rimes.......PERFECTION!!!!!!!!!! (It could happen! What's she doing these days anyway?)

My next few sales were shite. I did get a few goodies though. I got a great Halloween bag for my diva who's going as a punk rocker, a cheesy set of soaps that spell I (heart) U (but they're in the original box so Hello, Christmas present #2!!! I also got a super soft zebra print throw and a comfy sweater for moi but the real story is what I didn't get. It was a red Illy espresso machine. It did look fancy and you know how much I love red but the cheap girl in me was hung up on the fact that it took pods and I know they run like 50 cents to a dollar a piece!! I debated for a long time but finally I passed. At that point I had to rush home to watch my son so my husband could go off to work. While my boy ate his store brand cinnamon toast cereal, I went online and sure as shit that Illy espresso machine costs $599 on Amazon!!!!! I threw my baby's skinny little ass in the van so fast and flew back downtown to the sale but no Illy. Someone else got it. For $15 no less!!!! I was falling fast into a what-kind-of-professional-yard-saler-do-I-think-I-am-depression but it was soon lifted when I turned the corner and I saw a house with Bahama shutters and I realized then, after seven years of creative blockage, how I could build the addition to my house where I would be granted not one but two actual closets in the downstairs bedrooms and a proper bathroom where hubby and I would no longer have to practice pilates to navigate simultaneously while brushing our teeth. How this revelation is substantial is that how I envisioned the addition would have the closets on the ends of the 'bump-out' and I always thought a lack of windows would be odd. Now I can put Bahama shutters where the windows should aesthetically go and voila! I've got my addition!!! See how much yard saling adds to my life?!

(Now put your Billy Mays voices on in your heads...)....But wait! There's more!!!! I also bought a great old bench/table, a tall wooden child's rocker, a brand new reversible fur coat and a denim floppy hat for my diva (as you can see she was modeling), a cheap ass plastic pumpkin that I had to buy because my son made a scene and a very old mirror which I can tell you is heavy as shit because I have carried it to every room in my house trying to find a new home for it only to have it lean it back down where it started, homeless. Hello, room addition!!!

There ya have it. Although my finds were so so, I did resolve a household problem. Now I just need a few hundred more yard sales to pay for the damn thing. Looks like my means for a buck will carry out just a little longer. I swear, sometimes this house is like my pimp. I work and work and that's where all my money goes. When did the American dream turn me into a prostitute?

Rusted Rhythms, Barbie and My Famous Glider

I'll have you know I went to see quite possibly my favorite band of all time last night, Rusted Root, and I had noooo intention of saling this morning but this girl's internal yard saling, Saturday morning clock said, 'Rise and shine, picker!' and so it went. I wasn't in my van until 7:20 but I still managed a few scores.

As luck would have it, there were nine sales all on or just off my street. (Thank you, Yard Sale Gods! Those big cans of PBR last night were not helping my navigation this morn!!) The first few were junk but after all, what kind of worms did I expect when I wasn't the earliest bird? Finally I got to a sale with a bunch of kids crap but fortunately for me I have kids who need crap so I bought two beautiful, fancy dresses and a sparkly shirt for my diva daughter.

After that I went to a few more sales with strictly Salvation Army donations. Really, people! I got up for this???? Fortunately, the gods brought me to my friend, Barbie's sale and my lack of sleep and hangover dehydration were not endured in vain. There I bought two pumpkin head Halloween decorations, a large ghost, a metal owl, a truely scary crow, a metal crow bell, a fleece for my baby boy along with a pair of fireman rain boots, another lava lamp for my diva because the light burned out in her old lava lamp and it's cheaper to replace the lamp than it is the stupid little bulb, a cute little wire Christmas tree and finally an Enchanted Forest game from the 1970's that boasts, 'a treasure hunt for all the family in the land of myths and legends'. How could I resist? Especially when Barbie was piling the stuff in my arms and refusing to take any money for them. I did manage to give her a few bucks but what a deal I got!!! Now we are ready for our Halloween party extravaganza and even our trip to Hilton Head next week (with the fleece and game that is). Thanks, Barbie! I hope you made enough for that dream convertible you always wanted!!! (Think she minds the doll reference that she probably never gets enough of?)

Ok, so after that I bought a wire basket, blah, blah. And yesterday I bought a great wooden quilt rack with sailboats on the sides at a thrift store when we were looking for Halloween costumes. It's so great I had to throw it in today but finally I am giddy to tell all ya'll about my spot on prime time tv!!! Yes, little ol' Yard Sale Mama had her goods on Hart of Dixie on the CW Network!!! Many of my fabulous treasures were showcased but none more so than my white rusty glider that I've hung my yard sale finds on today! Pretty stinkin' cool, right? Now I must Send Me On My Way to bed. The Mama's gettin' a little rusty herself these days!

New (to you) Fall Merchandise at Northrop's

You can find these glorious items at Northrop's Antiques Mall in beautiful downtown Southport, NC! I brought other goodies as well today but I forgot to take photos. Huffing spray paint may be taking its toll.

Poor Meteorology, Zanax and Padded Cells

What a morning! Damn weatherman said there was going to be an 80% chance of rain this morning so I almost.....almost......opted to sleep in and call it a loss. Luckily, right before bed, I decided to set the alarm anyway and make my call in the a.m. and what a stupendous decision that was!!!!

My first sale I didn't realize until I was almost there that I had just been to the week before and bought nothing. Since I was a block away I figured I would give it a go anyway. Low and behold they had a bunch more stuff and I got a great old milk jug in a great old rusty green! I think I'll be swapping out my great old rusty brown one!!

Next on my list was at the old Armory. I resisted going because they charge a buck to get in and that infuriates me but reluctantly I went. Oh......my.......god!!!! The line to get in had to be two hundred people deep! I almost turned around because I didn't want the sloppy seconds of the entire town! I mean....what would be left? The answer was PLENTY!!!!! Now granted it was the kind of sale that I really should be prescribed zanax for but since I made it out without a breakdown let me tell you the treasures I found...!!! (I'm so giddy!!!!) First off I scored a Scrabble game (it gets better) then I bought a wooden letter holder that's in the shape of an old telephone (can't wait to paint it!) then I bought a glazed clay swordfish (will sell in a heartbeat!) then I bought an ugly painting (but the frame is divine!) then I bought an amazing old wooden birdcage (that everyone was admiring as I was walking around) and lastly I bought a vintage cocktail shaker (the real deal too...not the Pottery Barn replica!)!!!! Hellooooooo Score City!!!! I just added in my head my profit of just this sale and after the $13.25 that I spent, I should make $126.75!! And that's for maybe an hour's worth of work all together!! Oh wait....I spent a buck to get in.....make that $125.75. Still kills me!!! Let it go, Chrissy! Let it go!

Ok, so next I went to a sale where the people had to think I was on something. I walked up like I was going to rob them. I was just so cracked out from the Armory that I was still in crazy person mode. I only scored a vintage Canada tea towel (which is fabulous!) and I know they were happy to see me leave!

By my fourth sale I was slightly more pulled together. I bought a great large old galvanized metal handmade tool box and a vintage french fry cutter (with none other than a red handle!!). I was debating getting an old ashtray with a rifle for the handle that I thought I could chuck the ashtray and paint......and......maybe a candy dish........and..........but I didn't. I think I made the right call.

From there I went to another fantastic sale in the backyard of a great old house downtown where I truly wanted everything but I refrained and was sensible and only bought an A&W mug (my boy loves root beer!), two lobster glasses (to add to the two other ones I bought at the beginning of the summer), a great petite double boiler enamelware pot with a red rim (to go with my ever growing collection!), seventeen vintage postcards (to go with yet another ever growing collection) and a kick ass parlour table that painted will be off the charts!! It has so many ridges and turns that it was made for shabbitization!!! I'm in the money!!!

Well, after that I had completely run out of time and was forced to head home. I was just one block from my house and wouldn't you know it.....a yard sale! I got a wooden bench/plant stand and an old beveled mirror with my very last dollars!!! What an morning!!!! I could never sleep again if they could all be like this!!! Simply perfection! Well....all but the part where I almost....almost needed the padded room. Then again I could decorate the shit out of a padded room! All that white! I could go anywhere with that bank canvas. I think it would have to be 1950's postmodern. Yes! Chrome would look amazing in an insane asylum, don't ya think? (Be careful. If you answer....you're coming with me!!)