Saturday, March 5, 2011

Politics, Getting Lost and My Boyfriend

I've got to tell you, this gas inflation is really putting a hex on my yard saling! Every sale I headed to I practically computed the cost it took to get me to their heap of shit. Well, maybe I didn't actually do the math because it was much too early but I wanted to! What the hell is going on? Sure there's some turmoil in the Middle East but isn't there always? Unless Gadhafi blows the region (and it's oil) up, don't fuck with the cost per barrel! Don't we get most of out petrol from Canada anyway? All's good up there! Just ask Justin Bieber!!! Ugh! Why no one's nominated me for president I have no idea. Who better to fix our budget than a yard saler! You need school supplies? Check! You want to clean the environment? Here's a bike, in fact here's two; one's got a bum tire, now you've got parts! Seriously, people! I can help!

Well, until I'm called upon to serve my country, I guess I'll just stick to this.....

And so my morning began as I pulled out of my driveway at 6:15. I know. A little earlier than usual but there were several pre-sevens so I played their game. Or so I thought. My first stop was a bust because they never bothered to even set up. They're one block behind my house and now the future sight of my dog's dump station. Thanks neighbor!

After that I hit a 'look how much we over bought for our first baby' sale. Next!

Number three on my list was a church sale that I've been to many times before only this time there was a vacant parking lot. I assume I misread the ad and they were advertising this week for vendors and the actual sale is yet to come but at least five other cars drove up looking as well so now my dog may have to hold it while we take a little drive. Next!

I have to say, it was ironic that this church should be on my list this week because last week when I set saling, I was headed for a baptist church which I believed to be this one only it wasn't so I drove a little further only to realize that I had gone too far on route 40 so I took the next exit which brought me to 17 North towards New Bern which after I drove for what seemed like forever, it finally said the next exit was in 6 miles only when I reached that, I couldn't get back on 17 so I had to take Market Street from Porter's Neck and go all the way to Gordon Road and all the way back to 40 only to swear I just had to go a little bit further to get to that god damn baptist church only it wasn't up that far so I mother f*#@%ing did the whole mess again!!!!! I never thought it was possible to get lost for forty five minutes on this cape! Needless to say, in an effort to listen to your advise to use less profanity in my blog, I was unable to write last week. Where was I...... oh yes! My boyfriend!

Oh wait! I got so excited I forgot about the lodge. No big deal. I got a hat. Actually, it is a big deal because the water company just told me my water consumption has doubled and I definitely have a leak somewhere so until we find it, I will be hiding my greasy hair in the said hat. Best quarter I'll ever spend! Back to my boyfriend..........

As soon as I saw his address last night when I was scouting my sales my heart went a flutter! I've written about him before. Truth be told I remember him hotter but he does drive a great old Ford pick-up and he has the coolest shit. Cheap! I swear I think he's my other boyfriend, Mike Wolfe, from t.v.'s American Picker's brother. Not sure why I find them so dreamy but how can you question the chemistry of a crush? (When I become Commander in Chief, I'll be sure to allot some of my surplus budget to find such answers. Now I'm creating jobs too! My God, I can definitely see myself on the penny!!). Ok, back to my boyfriend's humble I got an old three tiered metal cart (with an outlet and cord!), a cute old 4x6 rustic frame (which I've been looking for that size!), two old jars with lids (and an extra metal lid for parts!), a great old frame (that I just know I have something to stick in it and the two will be meant for each other!), a beachy white table (just ok) and my piece de resistance....... an big old industrial strength coffee grinder in the most glorious hue of red!!!!! I think I might be part bull because whenever I see that primary perfection, I'm just full steam ahead!!!! It's so damn cool! I'm thinking it will look great in the corner of my dining room perched on an old chair. In fact, I went to several other sales, all of which sucked, so I think I will end today's journey here so I can play with my new toy. Unless you really want to know about the broken infant swing for sale at Pine Valley Elementary Scool? Didn't think so....see ya next week!!!!