Saturday, August 6, 2011

Heat, Cheap Wine and Undergarment Sweat Bands

Holy humidity!!!!! What the hell did I ever do before I could put my hair in a ponytail? Oh, that's right. I looked like a nappy headed boy! Well, last night's rain made for one hell of a sultry adventure this morning!!!! I attempted to be frugal and use nature's air conditioning but the windshield kept fogging up so I was forced to opt for petroleum comfort (mind you this was at 6:30 a.m.).

I would normally break down my individual stops but they were so atrocious that I will just say my first seven sales each consisted of one crappy table half full, of junk that should never have been purchased from Walmart in the first place! One sale even had everything priced at a quarter but a piece of gum that looses flavor in thirty seconds and permanently causes symptoms of TMJ is a far better investment than any item at these sales!

Now as you could imagine, I was getting pretty discouraged. Seven sales and not one purchase! I don't need a home run everyday but at least let me get up at bat!! Finally, number eight turned my day around but not by that much. Again, she had nothing but crap but she did have two almost new bags of charcoal. She asked $5 and I offered her $3. FINALLY! A purchase!!! Well, all I had was a five or two singles so she offered the only-used-twice charcoal grill for $2 more! Now, as you may recall, for this past father's day I got my man a charcoal grill. Technically it works great but the feature I boasted about was it's ability to fold down and would be great for camping. Well......the more I got to know the grill the more I realized it's ability to fold down was due to two screws missing and that's what made it portable. Hubby being the good man that he is never complained but when I pulled in the driveway this morning with that shiny new man stove his eyes lit up like it was Christmas day! He bee lined right to the freezer and got out some bratwursts! I done good! In addition, back at the yard sale, the lady was just bringing out a beach chair which she had marked $5 but with no change for my $20, was forced to take my two singles! It's a really nice chair too! It's the kind that turns into a back pack. It even has an adjustable head rest....well, that or it's broken but I think it's adjustable. I don't want freakish long necked people on the beach with me anyway. Fat people are always welcome but not giraffes!

So, finally my losing streak was broken. Next up I went to a great sale where I got a frame that just last night I stressed about 'needing' when I rearranged all of my pictures above my bed only to settle on a frame that was just less substantial than it needed to be to fill the space. Wouldn't you know it......I asked for it and the Yard Sale Gods provided! It's already hung up (pre paint and shabbitization) and it's just the right size!!! Hard to believe anything for a buck could make a gal so happy! And that wasn't even my fav of the day! That honor goes to a 60's vintage hand bag that just so happens to be a cooler!!!!! AND it still has the key to lock it up to prevent anyone from stealing whatever fine wine the super market puts on sale that week. It's a damn find!!! Now, if those two scores weren't enough, I also got the mother load of clothes for my daughter to boot! The booty consisted of two skirts, 1 pair of shorts, three pairs of pants and one sweet peace jacket! They're all Gap, Children's Place and even one Hanna Andersson! I just started back up volunteering at my kids' school and the teachers were telling me how much they love my daughter's clothes. If they only knew!

Well, after that the Yard Sale Gods decided I was granted enough. I hit a few more sales but the only thing I got was dehydrated. I did score a great queen's dress (in a size 10-12 for my daughter....go figure!) but that was about it. Just to emphasize how hot out it was today, the lady having the sale had a cloth in her hand that she was using to sop up the sweat on her forehead and when she needed to get me change she realized it was her daughter's panties that she was smearing all over her face! That's just wrong! Grab a damn t-shirt you freak! Afraid you'll miss out on that 50 cent sale? Yard sale culture....gotta love it!!!!