Saturday, October 22, 2011

Insomnia, Yard Sale Schutzstaffel and Discolored Toilet Seats

I'M SO EXCITEDDDDD!!!!!! What a morning I had!!! It started crappy because I had insomnia and I woke up at 4:11 and couldn't go back to sleep. But then I remembered that my friend drove by a church yesterday in Hampstead that was setting up for a yard sale and she said it looked like it had some good stuff. I humored her then and said I'd think about it but to drive all the way out to Hampstead and to be there at 6:30am....... I just wasn't a playa'. As it turned out, by 5:45 I couldn't adjust my pillow one single more time so I hit the road. After driving for twenty minutes I was seriously regretting my decision. When I finally got there, it was pitch black, there were tons of people, the gals hosting the sale were Nazis about where they wanted us to enter (I actually got yelled at!!!) and it was much too confusing in their little mouse maze to navigate around. I did score a large wooden doll cradle, some sort of skateboard that my son's been asking for, a great vintage tea towel (that's written partly in German...oh boy!!!), a kinda cool new chicken vase, and lastly a mega cheesy plastic golfer's ice bucket that will unfortunately sell in a heartbeat. I almost left with not of one item, though, because their 'uber efficiency' had people entering and exiting in only one spot and it backed people up at least twenty five deep just to pay!!!! To make matters worse they insisted on writing everyone out a receipt to allow us to leave their camp with proof we had paid! I'm surprised they hadn't scribed "Arbeit Macht Frei" at their gate!!!

Once I had liberated, I drove out of there like a mad woman. I heard someone mention another church sale 'right up the road' but I was stressing I was going to be off my perfectly plotted yard sale route that I had timed with precision. You know what happens when you're just a few minutes late to a yard sale!!!! I was about to scrap it and just head to my #1 but then it appeared. They didn't have much but I bought a huge trio of metal sailboats that will sell so fast it will look like a regatta leaving my shop!!! I also got a great frame with glass that will shabbitize stupendously, a gor-ge-ous painting of cypress trees that I can't wait to paint it's frame and hang somewhere on my own wall and last but definitely not oak toilet seat!!!! Yes, of course I'm serious!!!! You don't understand....the one I have is actually rusted from my son's rotten aim. Not to mention it's an odd spotty yellowish color (No! Not from that!!) from my obsession with bleaching the damn thing. Seriously all you men folk out there.....Just SIT DOWN!!!!!! You don't see us ladies standing on the seat and quasi aiming for the bowl!!!! I mean, sure I've tinkled on my feet and the surrounding area after a couple of potent potables....but I was tipsy....and I feared sitting on the nasty seat! Unless my son's apple juice has fermented.....he really has no excuse!!! (That goes for you too, hubby!!!) Well, anyway, this should buy me a few years before the next seat.

On to the actual first sale on my list...... This was the one I was so excited about!! It was a cub scout sale that they have every year at Wilmington Christain Academy that never disappoints! I thought for sure I was going to see people leaving with their wonderful finds that this late bird couldn't have but the worms were still plentiful!! I bought a fantastic old still life oil painting (that I soooo love!!), a great coffee table and my treasure of the day..... a dresser/mirror combo with carved sailboats and anchors!!! It needs some love but it is beautiful!!! And the best part...she originally wanted $35 but I didn't have that so I kept walking. Then, I went back and asked if I could just buy the mirror. To that she said $20 for just the mirror. I looked in my pocket and I only had $16 left. She saw my sad face and gave them both to me for the $16!!!! Can you believe it???? Man, what a steal!!!

So now I had technically only gone to the first sale on my list and I was broke. Luckily there was a Wells Fargo not far so I replenished my funds. The rest were downhill, however. My last hour only fetched me a 1950's Turner print (that I really only wanted for the frame) and a hand carved Honduras box that I can't wait to give to my half Honduran baby neighbor for Christmas with a coat of fresh paint but's a secret. So, that about wraps it up. It's been a long time since I've come home with a packed van! Now if you'll excuse me...I can't wait to go play with my new goodies! How can a girl get so lucky? A red vintage tea towel and a toilet seat all in one morning!!!! Who needs sleep anyway????

(Oh and I've included another small pic from a thrift run last week so stay tuned for the afters!!)

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Thrifty in Hilton Head, Minivan Ads and Homeowner Prostitution

I think the days of reporting in while high on yard sale crack are over. Between tee-ball and sleepovers, I am now officially in the chauffeur stage of motherhood. I'll try to recall the best I can yesterday's saling adventures with only the help of one very cold cup of coffee.

Actually, let me back up a bit. I had some great pics of some furniture projects but my old memory card claims 'file has no data'. Anyone know a remedy for that? Anyway, here's a pic of a table I just couldn't part with that now resides beside my front door. (I'm never sure where the pics will wind up on the blog since I am a technology dolt but I believe it to be on the left.)

I'm also going to add some finds from a thrift store I went to on my recent trip to Hilton Head Island along with some shots of our vacation.... (I believe these will be on the right but again...who knows.)

Now we're caught up. Here's two pics of yesterday's booty (you lucky dogs!) because 8:30 came just a little too early and I went back out, with kids in tow. (I should be in a minivan ad!!!!) [I have NO idea where these pics will be but should be the largest. Should.]

Ok, so the alarm went off at 6:30 and it was as painful as if it were thrown at my head. It's now officially cold in the mornings along with being pitch black so I was really questioning my means of earning a buck. My first sale was awkward because I sort of knew the gal and although she had nothing but kid's crap, I had to look over everything like I was truly interested in her fine offerings. (Ugh! I could have slept ten minutes longer!!!)

My next sale also had kid's crap but they had older kids so I scored two fur rimmed sweaters and a cute shirt for my daughter and my piece de resistance..... a wooden multiplication game that still had the box! Hello, Christmas present!

Next up was a big sale at the Greek church where I snatched up a soft, cow print pillow, an ugly glass jar set that will shabbitize like no other and three glorious yards of the most beautiful fabric! I'm not talkin' the $7.99 per yard stuff but the fancy fabric displayed on the horizontal bolts!! It's very girlie so I'm not sure what I'll use it on but when that piece presents itself it will be like the union of chocolate and peanut butter.... or my dining room table with that 1950's tablecloth from a few weeks ago.... or me with that hot guy that used to be on CSI Miami that's now married to LeAnn Rimes.......PERFECTION!!!!!!!!!! (It could happen! What's she doing these days anyway?)

My next few sales were shite. I did get a few goodies though. I got a great Halloween bag for my diva who's going as a punk rocker, a cheesy set of soaps that spell I (heart) U (but they're in the original box so Hello, Christmas present #2!!! I also got a super soft zebra print throw and a comfy sweater for moi but the real story is what I didn't get. It was a red Illy espresso machine. It did look fancy and you know how much I love red but the cheap girl in me was hung up on the fact that it took pods and I know they run like 50 cents to a dollar a piece!! I debated for a long time but finally I passed. At that point I had to rush home to watch my son so my husband could go off to work. While my boy ate his store brand cinnamon toast cereal, I went online and sure as shit that Illy espresso machine costs $599 on Amazon!!!!! I threw my baby's skinny little ass in the van so fast and flew back downtown to the sale but no Illy. Someone else got it. For $15 no less!!!! I was falling fast into a what-kind-of-professional-yard-saler-do-I-think-I-am-depression but it was soon lifted when I turned the corner and I saw a house with Bahama shutters and I realized then, after seven years of creative blockage, how I could build the addition to my house where I would be granted not one but two actual closets in the downstairs bedrooms and a proper bathroom where hubby and I would no longer have to practice pilates to navigate simultaneously while brushing our teeth. How this revelation is substantial is that how I envisioned the addition would have the closets on the ends of the 'bump-out' and I always thought a lack of windows would be odd. Now I can put Bahama shutters where the windows should aesthetically go and voila! I've got my addition!!! See how much yard saling adds to my life?!

(Now put your Billy Mays voices on in your heads...)....But wait! There's more!!!! I also bought a great old bench/table, a tall wooden child's rocker, a brand new reversible fur coat and a denim floppy hat for my diva (as you can see she was modeling), a cheap ass plastic pumpkin that I had to buy because my son made a scene and a very old mirror which I can tell you is heavy as shit because I have carried it to every room in my house trying to find a new home for it only to have it lean it back down where it started, homeless. Hello, room addition!!!

There ya have it. Although my finds were so so, I did resolve a household problem. Now I just need a few hundred more yard sales to pay for the damn thing. Looks like my means for a buck will carry out just a little longer. I swear, sometimes this house is like my pimp. I work and work and that's where all my money goes. When did the American dream turn me into a prostitute?