Saturday, June 25, 2011

National Pride, New Yard Sale Commission and Dreamy House Projects

I don't know. It must be getting closer to the 4th of July or something. All I know is that the Yard Sale Gods clearly have picked lil' ol' me to put on one hell of an American extravaganza here on Wrightsville Ave!!! I've been saying for years that I've wanted to get on the cover of the newspaper for the 4th (with my 15' painted flag on my garage and all) but now I have no excuse. I literally bought thirteen flags this morn from big to small (one for each of the original thirteen colonies maybe?). I plan to put one on each of my fence posts and hanging the mac daddy from the upstairs balcony! Hot diggity it's gonna be a sight!!!! Throw my son in, chasing a hen and Norman Rockwell, himself, might rise from the dead to capture the moment! It's seriously torturing me right now writing this YSM installment when all I want to do is play with my new stars and stripes!!!! Let's just move on (quickly).........I'll start from the beginning...............

My first sale was terrific but their prices were too steep. Ditto for the second one (one street over in the same nice neighborhood). I would write that sales in this 'hood are too rich for my blood but then a third freestyle appeared out of nowhere and I got a great old (the man said at least 30 years) gumball machine! It even has vintage gum in it (which he begged me to throw out when I get home.....we'll see......might finally teach 'em to listen when mama says 'no!'). Anyway, I'm so excited. I think I'll swap out the one I have in my kitchen for this one. The small one I bought a few weeks ago just sold, too, at my store. How could you not love a gumball machine? How??

So, after that I hit a sale that was enormous but strictly clothes. Really?? After that was a sale at the bowling alley and I was hoping to see my guy with the old bottles but he wasn't there. The rest was crap. I'm starting to think this new 'flea market' they've been trying to build is a week away from gen-u-ine Polex watches and perhaps some Cucci if you're lucky!!! Not this girl. I already done put my time in sporting imitation timepieces and their expectant green wrists of shame.

My next stop was supposed to be a 'neighborhood sale' but it was just two ladies and a combination of $10 max in profit between them. I'm thinking I might nominate myself as head of the Yard Sale Commission and start fining people for false advertisement. I will also write citations for those who neglect to take down their old signs (and send innocent salers on quests for sales of days gone by). Also, as head of the YSC, I will force people to disclose in their ads if they have only baby shit to sell. On top of the fines, I will force habitual offenders to pay in an ever changing location that will have signs that may or may not lead to an actual establishment. The profits will go to a City of Wilmington van that will collect all items if any given sale has no actual ability of making and significant money and take those items directly to Goodwill where they should have been taken in the first place!! Yup, I'll clean up this town! One bad Christmas gift at a time! Can you hear America the Beautiful or is that just me?

Where was I? Oh.... so, finally I got to a sale where I would buy my first flags of the day. They're two vintage ones that I bought with the intention of making them into pillows but that might have to wait until the 5th because the sale after that inspired the patriot in me! I got a huge flag (as tall as me!) and ten hand-held-parade-wavers! Man, what a score!!!! To boot, I also bought a delicious lemon cake and a very old scrabble board!! I would have left there singing Yankee Doodle Dandy but that damn cake was so good I was forced to hum! Does it get any better?

Indeed it might. The sale after that was at a friend of a friend's house and I got four fantastic old windows (that will go with my hundreds of other fantastic windows for my 'greenhouse project' [someday] or even dreamier would be for the house I'm going to build [one day] on our lot and use these as kitchen cabinet doors........ahh............a [poor] girl can dream!!). But get this....... I got them for FREE!!!!!! She also gave me a shirt for my son and a basket of her friend's that she tucked away in her locked car because she knew I'd like it! I had to cough over a buck for that since it wasn't hers but what a stupendous stop it was!!!!

My last sale I scored yet another scrabble game. Blah, blah. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got a staple gun in the garage calling my name! For those of you in the area, give me a honk when you see my soon to come, over the top, ode to the 4th! Clark W. Griswald had better step back and take lessons from the master!!! Anyone know where I can get a cannon?