Saturday, May 22, 2010

RIP little squirrel!!

So, my friend turned 40 and some of the gals met downtown to celebrate. Celebrate we did. Now I'm feeling ill and can't get 'Bringin' Sexy Back' out of my head. What the hell was in those pretty pink drinks? Why do I keep breaking Rule #1? Why was I dancing with that very young boy? Can someone say Cougar Town?

Having said that.......yard saling was pretty good today. Jane, my fellow cougar, made it out today as well. The first stop was a little rough. I really just walked through the motions of saling but my mind was not functioning yet. The second stop was slightly better. I did get a nice globe on a wooden stand but I saw a great Radio Flyer wagon and I didn't feel like asking how much it was and then some lady bought it and it really pissed me off. Why the hell did i just stare at it? Damn pretty pink drinks!!!

Take me off the bench, coach!!

I think we did a few more after that but it's a bit of a blur.........until the church! Hot dog was that a good stop!! I got an old silver ice chest that will make a great GREAT toy box (fav of the day!), a booster seat, a scrabble game, a helmet, a mini dresser that I guess is for jewelry but I'm not sure, an old scale, a sailboat book, The Time Travelor's Wife book, a sun tea jar that will make a swell vase, a stool and some great blocks! The only bummer was that the girl over charged me by $3 and I didn't say anything. I'm not going to be able to sleep for a week now. I seriously want to go back to that church and demand justice! I don't care if they're going on a mission. I'm going on a mission too- to get my mother fuckin $3 back!

Ok, I needed a moment. Now I'm back.

So as if life hadn't shit on me enough, after that, I'm driving la la...and a damn squirrel runs into the road. As a younger driver I would have swerved but as a veteran driver I know that squirrels always ALWAYS dodge the car and avoid their death but wouldn't you know it we looked out the rear view mirror and there's my fluffy little friend convulsing in the street. I hit the son of a bitch! And it didn't die! Half of it was squished but the other half was bouncing back and forth like a cat toy. It was awful! And my 'friend' keep doing her best squirrel voice saying "I want my mama." Now the bad karma's on her. I wanted a moment of silence but noooo she had to make fun! I think she just wanted to bring me down because she had a cat die a ferocious death on the side of her house and she didn't give it a proper burial and now she has among a stench, maggots and flies of a biblical proportion in her basement. We all know who the real animal hater is, don't we?

Back to saling.....ummm....ok, so, then I got a batman costume for my boy, 2 really cute (although new) tins and 35 painted fish. That's right. Thirty five fucking painted fish. I don't know what the fuck made me buy 35 fish. Thirty Five fish. I still can't even process that myself. They're cheesy as hell! We live in a beach town so a few might sell but 35!!! What if they don't? Why did Jane let me buy them? Why am I friends with that girl? Thirty five fucking fish!
I might need another moment......ok, I'm ok. So, last but not least, I'm very excited to report, at the final stop, I got another sleeping bag. What is so significant about this outdoor bedding is that the sleeping bag I currently use when we go camping I also got at a yard sale and the guy I bought it from was an ex-Army man and he said he slept in this thing at 20 below zero and I had to have it. It doesn't even get to 20 above zero here but I bought his pitch. Well! The fucking thing isn't rectangular. It's cone shaped! And when you're in it, it feels like a fucking sarcophagus! Why not a little leg room? I'm terrified in that thing! Who would have designed such a torture chamber? Maybe it was originally intended for prisoners of war to keep them bound. I have no idea but I'm glad I'll never have to sleep like a Nazi luger again! Thank you, yard sale gods! Another great week!


  1. I love it! Poor squirrel. If I had been there we would have had a moment of silence.

  2. you are hysterical.....better than the Sunday comics