Saturday, April 30, 2011

A Need For Mobile Dermatology,Healthy Rocks For Kids and Un-Reality TV

It's funny. Some days I pull into my driveway and think I had a lame morning but as I look at this picture, I did a-ok! I guess since I mostly bought things for the store I didn't get giddy about them. Well, you decide your level of gaiety. Let's review, shall we?

I woke up before the alarm this morning (which is a way better way of starting a new day!). I was dressed and out the door in a flash excited to hit a 6:30 sale but it was nothing but kid's clothes. I was pissed but still remained hopefull because next up was a church sale. I got there early and thought I'd really clean up but once again....kid's crap! This time more plastic toys from China. They were apparently also screening for heart health or something in a trailer but I had to pass. When it comes to my ticker, a mobile unit just won't do. Skin peels on wheels......that I would consider. Hell if I don't burn through 50 SPF! I'm gonna be some leathery sight in my golden years!
Anyway, I left the church and went on to #3 only to find over priced goods and a dude who got snippy with me when I asked if he could do less on a chair. Just because you're moving, pal, and you obviously don't like your stuff enough to lug it around, doesn't mean I have to pay retail to fund your new life! All these new cable television shows are killing me! Everyone thinks that their junk is treasure. Have you ever done the math on American Pickers? There's no way that they can make any money on what they buy and sell after touring the country like that! They pay stupid money sometimes for stuff because they know it doesn't matter. The History Channel is paying their bills! Mike Wolfe, if you're listening, I love ya and all but you really need to leave Iowa with more singles!
Ok, now that I've done my public service announcement for the junker community, I will carry on with my adventures.....
No real reason to buckle up, pull down the safety bar and keep your hands in the car because #4, 5 AND 6 were ALL more kids crap! I did get an old glass bowl with a glass lid though for 50 cents. I'm trying to replace all my Tupperware with it's glass alternative so not to poison us when we heat our leftovers in the microwave but can we really fight The Beast when every one's buying little Johnny all this lead riddled crap from China?! Sure my daughter smashed my brother-in-law's back windshield with a rock. At least she was playing with rocks! Two hundred bucks was a small price to pay for a nice healthy pastime!
Back to my morning.....
So, next I still had some time before I could hit my 8 o'clockers so I went to Monique's Boutique sale which I nixed last night but turned out to be a worthy stop! I got a great (albeit beat up) old two tired pie crust table. It needs some serious love but will go through the shabbitization process like a champ! Ms. Monique only put it out to display her 'fine' jewelery but turns out an upside down cardboard box can achieve the same goal. Thanks!
So, finally I had a decent purchase! I was pumped that it broke the ice for my eights but my next sale was the dreaded just-graduated-college-girls who have that new found confidence at being adults and price the shit out of everything. I knew their kind before I even looked at their goods. (Major eye roll!!!) Open the door to the real world, ladies! Your Target crap ain't worth what ya think!
Next up was at a church which has stunk the past few times I've been there but this time I got a gumball machine, an already painted and shabbitized mirror and a nice old display case that will also shabbitze like a how-to video. It even has shells already in it so I don't have to write my little suggestions on the tags! I know that sounds a bit controlling but hell if it doesn't help sales!
After that, I stopped at a sale and got a great old metal pitcher. I don't know how great it really is but I can remember pouring 'bug juice' from one just like it at Camp Sacajawea Girl Scout Camp and I think it will make a great addition to my porch! Hmmm....possibly a planter...... It's the little things that get me excited!
From that sale, I went only a few blocks to score a reprint of and old photo on a piece of particle board that normally I would run from but this pic is of ladies in the 20's at the beach in their swim suits and it's so cool that even the Marshall's version can't fuck it up too badly. Definite resellablity!
My last sale was interesting because it was two neighbors who got together (which is normal) but the polar differences in these neighbors was what made me chuckle. The one guy had tattoos all over his neck and was selling car stereo equipment (?????). The other was a very polished dad with his two adorable little girls who was selling some nice furniture. I bought an end table from him but I really wished I could stick around to see how these two interacted. Like I always say, you just never know what you're gonna get out there in yard sale world! I wish The History Channel would contact me about a show! Then I'd have to set my hair and wear lots of make-up like that Cash for Cari broad. No thanks! Just don't think reality t.v. is ready for the likes of me just yet. I would love to hear the pitch though......"Mr. Important CEO, we've got a girl who leaves her house looking like a pan-handler, buys junk from yard sales, keeps 90% of it in her over crowded house, paints and shabbitizes the rest in her garage all while huffing the paint fumes." Man, if that doesn't have Emmy written all over it! (big sigh) Looks like I'll stick to the huffing.......

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