Catamarans, Hurricanes and a Small Favor

As you can see, although you have not heard from me in a month, I have been quite busy. I've been through two hurricanes, a catamaran trip through the BVIs and STILL have managed to acquire some moth ridden treasures!

The pics (from bottom to top) are of the Coral Dreams catamaran that I boarded with hubby and some new friends to celebrate our 11th wedding anniversary in the British Virgin Islands, next is an old kitchen cabinet that I'm seeing as a bench (but sometimes not seeing and thinking,'what the hell did I buy?') which I scored from a thrift store, pics of a chair (from the same thrift store) which I will pair with some old fabric from a previous yard sale and some green paint that I think will compliment it perfectly that I also used on this frame ('after' pics to come) and the last three pics are from yesterday's saling adventures. Sorry this is the first I'm getting to chat with ya'll but a tee ball scrimmage and THREE birthday parties later.....you know how it is........quit yer bitchin!

SO!!! Turns out the weatherman was wrong again. Yesterday morning had a 70% chance of rain but since I so wanted to sleep in.....it didn't. Two of my first three sales were cancelled due to rain (ha!) and the other one just stunk! So there I was at 7 am with no other sales on my list until 8am. Luckily I was equipped with my fancy new iPhone and I was able to find a sale I had previously discarded due to proximity. It also stunk but I did purchase two pairs of pants for my growing baby boy for 50 cents. It wasn't much but it picked up my spirits just enough to keep saling!

With a skip in my step, I arrived early to an 8 o'clock sale and wouldn't you know.....I struck yard sale gold! First, I scored on old Coke crate then four rare, old bottles (man, I love these!)!! The bottles are by Brownie; "Taste The Difference," Bubble Up; "Pure Pleasure...a kiss of lemon and lime," TruAde (no claim to fame but labeled "Not Carbonated") and finally Sun Crest which lets the pop connoisseur know that, "This Bottle Designed for YOUR Convenience Clearly Revealing its Refreshing Contents.....Know What You Drink." I'm not sure what that even means but such a mystery makes this bottle one of my new favorites!! At the same sale, I also bought an ugly wooden tray (to shabbitize), thirty white vintage porcelain knobs and get this.......for my hideous kitchen cabinet..........not one but two sets of rusty old casters to choose from for it's base!!!!!!! I ask the Yard Sale Gods and they givith!!!!!! I am not worthy!!! My vision of that monstrosity is really shaping up!!! A salvaged 1950's kitchen cabinet on the floor is ugly but a 1950's kitchen cabinet on wheels......now that's art!!!!

So, high from that sale, I moved on to the next only to score a beautiful vintage table cloth with a chicken border in a fab hue of red, two vintage hand towels made by Georges Briard (highly collectible) and last but not least (insert drum roll....) TWO big boxes of vintage Christmas ornaments with their original boxes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Please say the following in your best Billy Mays voice....) but wait.......there's more! I bought them for $2!!!!!!!!!!!! There has to be fifty of them!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you, God and of course baby Jesus for being born so I could love vintage Christmas so much!!! To think I wanted to sleep in that morning!!!!

Well, after that I was on my way home but stumbled on a freestyle and bought a colorful kids book from 1967 on Things to Make and Do. I was so excited because it would be perfect to decoupage something with!!!! Luckily, I looked away from my new gem long enough to notice a woman looking at some jeans and a glimmer of dreamy oak caught my eye. Sure enough underneath all of that denim was a stunning old teacher's desk! It's truly beyond beautiful!!! And only $20!!!!!!!!!!!!! What a perfect end to a great day back!!! Well....getting it in the van with the rest of my finds was less than perfect especially since I was now officially late to take my boy to tee ball but blah, blah, blah! It's home and my son didn't even notice our less than punctual arrival to the field! Jeez Louise, life is good!!! I could sure go for a nice refreshing bottle of non carbonated TruAde right about now! Oh well, maybe next week!

I hope you enjoyed today's installment of TYSM. Now I need a favor from you (yes, YOU!) I'm applying for the master's program at UNCW in creative nonfiction and I need your comments. Feel free to tell me I suck but I probably won't summit that. In fact, why don't you go ahead and embellish just a tad and I'll just happen to erase this little paragraph like it never even happened. Last year four hundred applied but only eight got in. Help a girl out, won't you???? I can't huff paint forever!!!!!!!!

Smalls For Ya'lls!

All of these fantastic items can now be found at Northrop's Antique Mall in Southport, NC.

I just have to share that when I was packing the van this morning for the haul, I felt like I didn't have much to bring. Out of curiosity I added up the totals of the merchandise and sure enough I had $404 worth of stuff. That lead me to wonder what I had invested into the goods and that amount was only $41! Indeed it was worth a short drive and a ferry over! Now let's hope everything sells!!!!

Irene Aftermath Sale

This is what I was working on while I was trapped in the house during Hurricane Irene with two kids. I found the fumes really mellowed them out. Both pieces can be found at Ivy Cottage.

For bragging purposes I have to tell you that I bought the mirror at The Salvation Army for $4.99, put $3.88 worth of spray paint on her and after shabbitzation Ivy Cottage put $125 on her!!!!

The table I bought a few months back (found her in the back of the garage the other day) for $5 at a church yard sale, put paint I already had on her and after shabbitization Ivy Cottage put $85 on her. Not bad for a $13.87 investment!!!!!!

The Calm Before the Storm!

Well, with Hurricane Irene coming I've been busy cleaning out my garages so my treasures don't float away.

Top: My new (brand new even!) shower curtain in my very own bathroom from Saturday's yard saling.

Middle: My completed items that are now for sale at Ivy Cottage!

Bottom: A fabulous vintage waste can that I found in the trash on the way home from Ivy Cottage! Don't ya just love it???!

Have a safe weekend!

Good Housekeeping, Horror Stories and Godzilla

Well. Looks like I'll be huffing paint for the next few weeks. This morning was an 80's wood extravaganza! Have no fear.....primer's here! Shabby Girrrrl.............to the rescue!!!

My first stop was right around the corner. I've been to his sales before and although he has good stuff, he knows it. I planned to just do a run through to see if there was anything I just couldn't live without and leave quickly but low and behold there it was! An Atlas Mason jar which blah, blah blah, right? Wrong! This one's got a part metal, part glass lid which has 'Tasted and Approved by the Good Housekeeping Institute' written on it! It's called a Presto Jar and is marked series #637. I never done heard of that one! I LOVE it!!! What a swell addition to my jar collection! What ever will I put in it??! Any suggestions?

My next sale was only a block away. (Love when the Yard Sale Gods plan it like that!) Unfortunately all I got was a Scrabble game. She wanted $5 for it but I talked her down to $2. Even that was a bit steep for me but I sell each Scrabble saying for $5.50 a piece so I couldn't walk away without it.

Next up, the Gods giveth me another sale a block from the other one. I'd always disliked this house because it's a new, vinyl clad box in the middle of Craftsmen bungalows but the sale was inside and I got see beyond it's walls and what do you know.....it's fantastic inside! Whoever built it used old materials for charm but designed it with today's needs like an open floor plan and a large kitchen island. Just beautiful! I could barely concentrate on the sale with all of my snooping. I could have left with nothing and still thought it a great stop but lucky for me I scored a cheesy kid's bench/toy box complete with hearts and a wooden bow (surprisingly, shabbitized, it will be fantastic!) and a bookshelf. [I also thought long and hard about a bike for my daughter that was $25 but I liked it more for $10 so I passed and wouldn't you know I went back before I came home and it was gone! Now I'm convinced it was the greatest bike ever and I made a huge mistake. Ugh!]

The next sale was straight out of a Stephen King novel. There was a sign for a yard sale on a tree by the street but all you could see was a house set back off the road and a creepy van parked beside it. Normally I would have walked around but I'm getting cautious in my old age and I pulled away. I'm half proud of myself and half pissed that there could very well have been something truly terrific there! Maybe the last girl he tied up in the basement had some really nice jewelry! Such a missed opportunity:(

On a lighter note, at the sale that followed, I bought a cool, large hourglass (that my daughter has fallen in love with) and a hideous needlepoint that I bought for it's frame but the woman called her mom out of the house who made it and was so glad I liked it. I feel just awful but at least I made her day. Seriously, guys! It's a frigging tiger cub frolicking in the grass! Of all the things to spend hours on end sewing! Who knows. Maybe she made fun of me when I left for buying her god awful feline art. Not nice, Gert!

I left that sale en route to the big Elk's indoor yard sale at 8:00 but I stumbled on a freestyle and found a great old printer's drawer. It even still has '14 point Piranesi Italic' printed on the pull! What a find! Next up.........The Elk's Lodge!

I pulled up fifteen minutes early and sure enough there was a huge line. Some smart vendors set up outside but these weren't any vendors. These were 'professional' vendors. You know, the greasy haired flea market types. Needless to say, they were overpriced so I got on line with the rest of the herd. Amazingly, they let us in five minutes early but inside, it was complete pandemonium. I can't stress to you enough just how much I hate crowds. I don't think I made any friends in there because I was running people down but honestly, I just wanted out! My first purchase was the amazing book, Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. I've been looking for this for weeks because my husband and I are going on a catamaran through the British Virgin Islands next month for our anniversary (eleven blissful years) and I need to keep him busy so he doesn't decide to snorkel right into the bottle of rum only to resurface when it's time to debark. Might turn out to be the best dollar I'll even spend! I also got an old clamming basket which the old lady said she used when she was a girl. Was she fibbing? I don't know but I bought the story and the basket. After that I bought two metal fish which fit in the basket but was becoming difficult to lug around. It only got worse when I bought a large (heavy) Christmas sleigh, a vintage M&M dispenser and a nice striped shower curtain. At that point I felt like Godzilla crushing the city of Tokyo but without Mothra to stop me, I made it to the exit. Of course, right at the door I noticed an ugly coffee table with a lot of shabbitization possibilities so I had to go to my van for a drop off. When I went back to the table, it said to find booth #23 to purchase but the booths were numbered like houses on an old country road so it took a good amount of time to locate it. When I did, the gal sensed my evil reptilian powers and was smart to take my offer of half her asking price. She was very wise to bow down and protect the safety of her village.

So, there ya have it. I survived the Elk's Lodge of horrors and probably will make a buck or two on my finds. Not to mention I get to get high all week on paint fumes and I'm able to write to you now without being shackled to a wall somewhere and forced to be a sex slave! I say, a damn good day for The Yard Sale Mama!!!! Damn good!!!! Happy saling!!

A New Find, a New Re-Do and The Fish!

Don't you just love the fish from a few weeks ago?!

I also added this great new still-live painting to my dining room. I bought it at a thrift store in Southport for $5.40!

Lastly, I've added some color to a few frames in my spare room. I'm so over brown!

Escaping Death, Surf Hoes and Bouncing Boobies

Today wasn't good or bad it just was. I had over 100 yard sales to choose from but it rained all night so I wasn't sure what kind of saling day it would be and frankly now that I'm back I still don't have an opinion. Maybe you can decide.....

I had two sales at 6:30 so I was out the door while you lucky bastards were still sleeping. I'm not sure why but I was convinced that I was going to be murdered at my first sale. It was in a shady part of town, everybody was still asleep and I just had a bad feeling driving up to it. When I got there, however, they couldn't have been nicer. I'm all but positive that they had no intentions of ever dicing my body up and putting my parts in their freezer. Whoof! I got lucky! Not because I lived to tell the tale but because I got a whisk for 75 cents! Hubby and I just saw one for $5.99 at TJ Maxx and I almost bought it (since ours snapped weeks ago and heaven forbid my man use a fork!) but I held out and I'm $5.24 the richer for it (plus tax)!!!

The next sale was literally one card table worth of crap which the sorry soul proceeded to explain to me what all six items were. For some reason I felt compelled to buy something and possibly further his career as the Price Is Right announcer and I left with a glass. It's kinda cool. You know the ones with the drink recipes on them? I was still really tired and just lucky to be alive, folks!!

After that I went to a "huge, neighborhood sale" that was several neighbors having coffee on one neighbor's lawn with two tables of nothing. NEXT!!

I bought a Glade Plug-In at the next sale for 50 cents. Come on, guys! It claims to offer "30 days of gentle freshness". That's less than two pennies a day! A steal I tell ya!!

I went to several sales after that that all sucked. I was stressing! I was coming up to my eight o'clockers and I had yet to purchase anything significant. I was heading to sale #9 when I noticed a ton of cars parked in a cluster a few blocks past my turn. It was either a yard sale or one hell of a good party last night! Low and behold it was a yard sale!!! Not even on my list!!! I walked up and there was stuff everywhere! I bought a disco ball for my daughter, a small vintage chalkboard and a hurricane candle right away and then I realized it was inside too!!!! I stuffed my goodies in a bush and went into the garage. Right away I picked up a fab-u-lous hard plastic map in a wood frame that's topographical (my favorite!!!!). It was huge but I didn't dare put it down. Needless to say I was ramming people left and right but sucks to be them! Inside was packed but nothing fantastic. I did score two cheesy beach paintings that I bought for their great frames but I probably will just paint the frames and make them slightly more current. Cheesy beach shit always pays the bills! I'm sure there were more hidden treasures that I overlooked in there but crowds bug me out so on to #10 I went. All I got at that sale was a mirror that wasn't cheap but it didn't need work and I could easily triple my money so what the heck!

After that I was back to more useless driving. I even hit a Quicksilver sample sale at some one's house but not only was there nothing under $25 but everything was a size small/petite. FU skinny surfer bitches! Ugh!!! Why must I be so full figured? WHY????? It might have something to do with the half of a stick of butter I put on my popcorn last night but still! I can't forget it was expensive too! Keep your little doll clothes!!!! So there!!!

From there I went to a sale with the coolest vintage gear (although I am possibly getting a tad old for these styles [not to mention the full figured issue]) so I left with the most amazing orange carry-on bag ever and an equally cool overnight bag in a blue tapestry material. I have no idea when I would ever use either (especially since we usually fly Spirit out of Myrtle Beach which charges you for every scrap of luggage [my family recently went to Costa Rica and you better believe we got on those planes with our towels wrapped around our necks!!!!]) but they were just too cool to not come home with me. I would love to pass on my love of donning vintage to my eight year old fashionista but it will be a few more years until she can be cool being different. Damn you, peer pressure!!!!

So there you have it. I drove around a bit more but nada. I did see a woman who was hosting one of the earlier sales which were insignificant (except for a table she wanted too much for) and she was out shopping for more crap to put at her yard sale!!! I guess I applaud her capitalism but what I didn't applaud was when I asked her if she sold the table yet she acted like she didn't know what I was talking about!!! Really? Maybe these's another black woman with a long, strapless, pink dress on with no bra on out this morning!!! Probably just a coincidence. My mistake. Have fun bringing that table back in! Hope the drawer doesn't slide out and land on one of your unchaperoned boobies!!

Latest Projects

These are some fabulous new pieces that you can see were not so fabulous just a few days ago.

Remember this frame from last week? Probably not because it was so nasty.

Also pictured are a display of some of my new wine glasses from the week before last.

And as a special surprise.......my new vintage curtains from The Salvation Army for $4.49!!!!!!! Don't you just dig them?????

Heat, Cheap Wine and Undergarment Sweat Bands

Holy humidity!!!!! What the hell did I ever do before I could put my hair in a ponytail? Oh, that's right. I looked like a nappy headed boy! Well, last night's rain made for one hell of a sultry adventure this morning!!!! I attempted to be frugal and use nature's air conditioning but the windshield kept fogging up so I was forced to opt for petroleum comfort (mind you this was at 6:30 a.m.).

I would normally break down my individual stops but they were so atrocious that I will just say my first seven sales each consisted of one crappy table full......no half full, of junk that should never have been purchased from Walmart in the first place! One sale even had everything priced at a quarter but a piece of gum that looses flavor in thirty seconds and permanently causes symptoms of TMJ is a far better investment than any item at these sales!

Now as you could imagine, I was getting pretty discouraged. Seven sales and not one purchase! I don't need a home run everyday but at least let me get up at bat!! Finally, number eight turned my day around but not by that much. Again, she had nothing but crap but she did have two almost new bags of charcoal. She asked $5 and I offered her $3. FINALLY! A purchase!!! Well, all I had was a five or two singles so she offered the only-used-twice charcoal grill for $2 more! Now, as you may recall, for this past father's day I got my man a charcoal grill. Technically it works great but the feature I boasted about was it's ability to fold down and would be great for camping. Well......the more I got to know the grill the more I realized it's ability to fold down was due to two screws missing and that's what made it portable. Hubby being the good man that he is never complained but when I pulled in the driveway this morning with that shiny new man stove his eyes lit up like it was Christmas day! He bee lined right to the freezer and got out some bratwursts! I done good! In addition, back at the yard sale, the lady was just bringing out a beach chair which she had marked $5 but with no change for my $20, was forced to take my two singles! It's a really nice chair too! It's the kind that turns into a back pack. It even has an adjustable head rest....well, that or it's broken but I think it's adjustable. I don't want freakish long necked people on the beach with me anyway. Fat people are always welcome but not giraffes!

So, finally my losing streak was broken. Next up I went to a great sale where I got a frame that just last night I stressed about 'needing' when I rearranged all of my pictures above my bed only to settle on a frame that was just less substantial than it needed to be to fill the space. Wouldn't you know it......I asked for it and the Yard Sale Gods provided! It's already hung up (pre paint and shabbitization) and it's just the right size!!! Hard to believe anything for a buck could make a gal so happy! And that wasn't even my fav of the day! That honor goes to a 60's vintage hand bag that just so happens to be a cooler!!!!! AND it still has the key to lock it up to prevent anyone from stealing whatever fine wine the super market puts on sale that week. It's a damn find!!! Now, if those two scores weren't enough, I also got the mother load of clothes for my daughter to boot! The booty consisted of two skirts, 1 pair of shorts, three pairs of pants and one sweet peace jacket! They're all Gap, Children's Place and even one Hanna Andersson! I just started back up volunteering at my kids' school and the teachers were telling me how much they love my daughter's clothes. If they only knew!

Well, after that the Yard Sale Gods decided I was granted enough. I hit a few more sales but the only thing I got was dehydrated. I did score a great queen's dress (in a size 10-12 for my daughter....go figure!) but that was about it. Just to emphasize how hot out it was today, the lady having the sale had a cloth in her hand that she was using to sop up the sweat on her forehead and when she needed to get me change she realized it was her daughter's panties that she was smearing all over her face! That's just wrong! Grab a damn t-shirt you freak! Afraid you'll miss out on that 50 cent sale? Yard sale culture....gotta love it!!!!

Vocal Diarrhea, Mini Temptresses and Street Side Memorials

Wouldn't you know the day my sister visits from Kansas City, the yard sales suck! I feel like I'm a horrible diplomat of the yard sale community. Why couldn't this morning have been a picker's extravaganza like it was a few weeks ago? She did get a couple of boogie boards, a bracelet and a cool deco-esque lamp, though. I guess she forgives me.

I have to start by saying that I scanned back in my cell phone last night to text my sister that I'd be over my other sister's house to pick her up at 6:35. Only I got confused with what I thought was her cell number (913) for a government office in Raleigh that I called last week (919) and I texted them instead. THANK GOD I didn't text that I couldn't wait to get out and yard sale because I wanted to murder my kids! That's SO something I would do! Kind of like a few days ago when my son's kindergarten teacher showed me her new Disney silverware and I asked if she stole them. I was only kidding but who the hell says that to their kid's teacher? I ain't right!

Anyway..... luckily my sister dolls up quickly and was out the door a few minutes after I arrived (apparently unexpectedly) just after half past six. She treated me to an iced coffee and I gotta tell ya........HIGHLY enjoyed it! Takes all the fuzz out of those first few stops! Unfortunately, this morning was not the day to need to be overly observant. Clothes, clothes and more clothes! I did buy a cheese grater at out first sale but the woman actually rolled her eyes at me when I asked if she'd accept 50 cents to her one dollar item. Really, lady? A cheese grater only costs a dollar! You should be happy to have my two quarters!!! You know I eye rolled her right back (well, when I walked away)!

Our next sale was more crap that should have been donated to the Salvation Army but I walked away with two frames none the less. (They're perfect for paint and shabbitization....and yet hideous now.)

Next up was an inside/moving sale but they made bad choices in their lives and had acquired nothing but crap. I hope their next chapter is better for them! (And THEN they have a yard sale!!!)

After that we hit a freestyle and for lack of anything to buy, I left with a necklace. I think I like it. Not sure.

Have you fallen asleep yet? I'd understand if you did. Well....I'll keep going because I know my mom always reads. Ma, next I bought twelve new wine glasses because like I've said before, I think it's ludicrous that an alcoholic beverage should be put in a top heavy glass and obviously we go through them like crazy! Some people like the 'stemless' wine glasses but really isn't that just a glass?

Next up was a sale for a woman whose house burned down a few weeks ago. I was hoping to make a bigger donation for her new life but I'm not sure how much my $4 helped. I bought an old Atlas jar with lid, a great Spiderman beach towel that folds into itself and becomes a backpack and six plastic cereal bowls that look like the old glass ones. What a good humanitarian I am!!

WAKE UP, MA!!!!!

After that we went into the mall for a church sale (only in the south!!!) The man at the door started to tell us about how they were using the money they raised from this sale for their trip to Uganda to put wells in for the............. but luckily my sister saved the day and just bolted in saving us from the rest of his sermon. I love her! Inside, I bought a pretty crocheted sweater for my daughter and a dress up dress that my sister found in the pile. It was a good find too because dress up clothes usually stop at size 6x. Don't they know that older girls are divas too? The first thing my daughter does when her other eight year old friends come over is dress to the nines! In some cases they look like little whores but who can blame them! Their innocent little Tinkerbell outfits are too small!!! They do try to squeeze into those old dresses but over the years they've become torn and I almost prefer the whore look to the oh-my-god-who-raped-Cinderella look. So, like I said, the size 10 dress up dress was a score indeed!

That about wraps up our saling. We then hit the farmers market downtown....oh wait....we did hit another sale in the hood before the farmer's market and the only thing significant about it was that it was across the street from where someone was shot last week and had the creepy memorial area with the stuffed animals and the fake flowers. If I meet my demise in an unnatural way, please don't honor me in that way. At least put real flowers!! I gave $4 to charity just this morning for Christ's sake!

Finally, I dropped my sister off but only to hit a freestyle on the way home. I scored two old Sundrop bottles. I have enough old bottles to become a distributor but what's two more? I saw on a show the other day that a man collected washing machines. Now, that man has a problem!!! Hear that, hubby? It could be a lot worse!!! A LOT!!!!!!