National Pride, New Yard Sale Commission and Dreamy House Projects

I don't know. It must be getting closer to the 4th of July or something. All I know is that the Yard Sale Gods clearly have picked lil' ol' me to put on one hell of an American extravaganza here on Wrightsville Ave!!! I've been saying for years that I've wanted to get on the cover of the newspaper for the 4th (with my 15' painted flag on my garage and all) but now I have no excuse. I literally bought thirteen flags this morn from big to small (one for each of the original thirteen colonies maybe?). I plan to put one on each of my fence posts and hanging the mac daddy from the upstairs balcony! Hot diggity it's gonna be a sight!!!! Throw my son in, chasing a hen and Norman Rockwell, himself, might rise from the dead to capture the moment! It's seriously torturing me right now writing this YSM installment when all I want to do is play with my new stars and stripes!!!! Let's just move on (quickly).........I'll start from the beginning...............

My first sale was terrific but their prices were too steep. Ditto for the second one (one street over in the same nice neighborhood). I would write that sales in this 'hood are too rich for my blood but then a third freestyle appeared out of nowhere and I got a great old (the man said at least 30 years) gumball machine! It even has vintage gum in it (which he begged me to throw out when I get home.....we'll see......might finally teach 'em to listen when mama says 'no!'). Anyway, I'm so excited. I think I'll swap out the one I have in my kitchen for this one. The small one I bought a few weeks ago just sold, too, at my store. How could you not love a gumball machine? How??

So, after that I hit a sale that was enormous but strictly clothes. Really?? After that was a sale at the bowling alley and I was hoping to see my guy with the old bottles but he wasn't there. The rest was crap. I'm starting to think this new 'flea market' they've been trying to build is a week away from gen-u-ine Polex watches and perhaps some Cucci if you're lucky!!! Not this girl. I already done put my time in sporting imitation timepieces and their expectant green wrists of shame.

My next stop was supposed to be a 'neighborhood sale' but it was just two ladies and a combination of $10 max in profit between them. I'm thinking I might nominate myself as head of the Yard Sale Commission and start fining people for false advertisement. I will also write citations for those who neglect to take down their old signs (and send innocent salers on quests for sales of days gone by). Also, as head of the YSC, I will force people to disclose in their ads if they have only baby shit to sell. On top of the fines, I will force habitual offenders to pay in an ever changing location that will have signs that may or may not lead to an actual establishment. The profits will go to a City of Wilmington van that will collect all items if any given sale has no actual ability of making and significant money and take those items directly to Goodwill where they should have been taken in the first place!! Yup, I'll clean up this town! One bad Christmas gift at a time! Can you hear America the Beautiful or is that just me?

Where was I? Oh.... so, finally I got to a sale where I would buy my first flags of the day. They're two vintage ones that I bought with the intention of making them into pillows but that might have to wait until the 5th because the sale after that inspired the patriot in me! I got a huge flag (as tall as me!) and ten hand-held-parade-wavers! Man, what a score!!!! To boot, I also bought a delicious lemon cake and a very old scrabble board!! I would have left there singing Yankee Doodle Dandy but that damn cake was so good I was forced to hum! Does it get any better?

Indeed it might. The sale after that was at a friend of a friend's house and I got four fantastic old windows (that will go with my hundreds of other fantastic windows for my 'greenhouse project' [someday] or even dreamier would be for the house I'm going to build [one day] on our lot and use these as kitchen cabinet doors........ahh............a [poor] girl can dream!!). But get this....... I got them for FREE!!!!!! She also gave me a shirt for my son and a basket of her friend's that she tucked away in her locked car because she knew I'd like it! I had to cough over a buck for that since it wasn't hers but what a stupendous stop it was!!!!

My last sale I scored yet another scrabble game. Blah, blah. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got a staple gun in the garage calling my name! For those of you in the area, give me a honk when you see my soon to come, over the top, ode to the 4th! Clark W. Griswald had better step back and take lessons from the master!!! Anyone know where I can get a cannon?

Heat Wave Sale going on at Northrop's Antique Mall!

Mourning a Loss, Front Yard Urinals and Robin Who?

I can't even believe it's been a month since I've written. It's not that I haven't been saling I just have had such jam packed weekends that I've had to rush out the door after I scraped the junk funk off my rummaging hands! I guess that's a good thing but I've missed me recaps with y'all!!!

Where to begin? My brain can't remember beyond the last few hours so I'll have to lock the last couple of weeks in my rusty vault and start with this morning......

I had intended to get up at 6:15. There was a 6 o'clocker but since it was the only one before 7, I
thought I'd get there a little late and enjoy some much needed sleep. As it turned out, my nerves over my baby girl going to sleep-away camp tomorrow had me up every ten minutes. At 5:50 I decided I might as well head out. I never thought there would be many folks at the 6 o'clock sale. Boy was I wrong! I couldn't even get a parking spot at the church and I was there by 6!!!!!!!!! And to make my day (which existed of all of 15 minutes by now) a complete downer, there was a man with a fab-u-lous wall clock already checking out! It was about two and a half feet tall, able to be mounted to a wall but it had two arms that stuck out and held the clock and it swiveled and to boot it said 'IBM' on it! This thing was industrial and wonderful and only $5 and worst of all, it wasn't mine! Damn you, early bird!!!! Ugh! What a way to start my day! I'm still in mourning! I don't know why I'm complaining. I did get a Robin costume for my boy (like anyone wants to be Robin and not Batman.......even his name is girlie!!) and suede-esque water bottle (which was ironic since just last night I talked to my husband's aunt who recommended I get that style for my daughter for camp tomorrow. Now I don't have to go to Walmart which is worth it's weight in gold! But still......).

After that, I just drove like a neglected, red headed step child to my next sale. I got there early and it looked so enticing but of course they made us wait until 7. In that time, I started talking to a women visiting town for a family reunion and I mentioned that I liked a mirror that was in the back corner. Wouldn't you know, when they finally let the horses out of the gate, the filthy w&%$ snaked my mirror!!!!!! Son of a b*^#%!!!!! Must have been a Northerner! Damn Yankee!!! Maybe that's how she does it 'back home'!!! Anyway, I did score a corner shelf, two nice old frames, a basket made out of folded newspaper (reminiscent of the old Juicy Fruit bracelets we made in grade school) and a red clamming basket (with seven ceramic pigs which I believe were actually what were marked $5 on the basket and not the terrific basket but I acted dumb [which is easy with my over processed hair] and I got the whole kit and caboodle for the said $5. I walked away like I got away with something but the pigs are hideous. If I were a better person I would have told her to try and sell the snouted knick knacks but I didn't want to raise any red flags so now they're mine. ALL MINE!!!!!! (I'm sure glad Robin didn't sashay in and stop the crime!)

Next up was a sale at an antique store owner's house. I was disappointed when I recognized him but the sale wasn't bad at all. I got two large, great wooden tiki masks that will look awsomeous in my son's surfer room and a signed watercolor still life that with the right frame will be pretty swell. So, not a bad stop.

I went to eight sales after that and I didn't purchase a single thing. Half the sales were kid's crap, others were overpriced and one smelled so much like a urinal I had to bolt. (That one still has me baffled.....it was no dog, people!!!!) So there ya have it! Somewhat of a let down after all this time but what else were you going to do? Read about Weiner's roaming weiner again? Exactly! I may have been responsible for a hog heist but at least you can tune into The YSM without worrying you're going to be exposed to some lude pictures. This is a classy operation I run! You're welcome!!!

Naivety, Torture and Madness

I tell you what......I had a great freakin' morning!!! My route was nice and smooth, I spent next to nothing, I scored some smokin' finds AND I heard some blast from the past music along the way! To think I was praying for rain last night so I could sleep in!!!

So, as luck would have it, although I went to bed late (while honoring Rule #1 mind you!), I woke up at 4:30. I wanted to go back to sleep but I was too afraid I'd go into a deep sleep and not want to sale. Not to worry. I pretty much tossed and turned and stared at the dust covered ceiling fan (really should do something about that) and passed the time away. By 6 I couldn't stand it anymore and began getting ready. I felt like an ass showing up to my first sale that was advertised for 7 at 6:25 but luckily they were setting up and welcomed me with open arms. I got a so-so end table that has great detail and will shabbitize like a champ, a tall bread box that will also have the good fate of my prior find and a completely useless small metal table that has holes drilled in it but what makes it so special is it has four fantastic rusty casters on it that will look amazing on the legs of my coffee table! I've been looking for these for weeks and voila! I can't say I've ever had that much fun before 6:30 a.m!

My next sale equally welcomed their early bird but unfortunately the lady was much too fond of her stuff and had her crap priced insanely high. She did have a great pair of old little kid's roller skates (you know the metal kind with the key!! [with red wheels no less!!!]) that Jane would have just loved but she wanted $12 for them! Twelve dollars!!!! I was a player at one dollar maybe two because it's Jane's birthday soon but sorry dear friend......they're at the corner of Chestnut and 24th if you want them! What the hell?

My next sale was a bit creepy. The house was set pretty far back and the mother in me said, "bring your phone just in case." In actuality, it's messed up that I didn't think, "get the f*#k out of here." Anyway, I went....armed with my Verizon LG.....but I risked my life for nothin'. I walked away, however, thinking of a very funny early yard sale story with Jane. It was before I was blogging but too nuts not to share now. Well!!! We went to this absolutely beautiful old mansion that's very run down and in a sort of shady part of town (aren't you thinking Stephen King already?) We bought a few things from her but couldn't help telling her how great her house was. She said she lived there for six years but was thinking about putting it on the market. That got us to talking and she said the pantry was her favorite part of the house would we like to see it, so like TOTAL IDIOTS Jane and I not only went in her house but walked in her pantry and so help me God she started to close the door on us!!!!! I'm not making this shit up!!! I made a joke about her murdering us and pushed open the door (with some resistance from her pushing it closed) and we got the hell out of there. We were still laughing about this after we narrowly escaped her dry goods room of doom so it didn't seem unusual that her 'son' (who could have played the Robert De Niro character in Cape Fear) was trying to sell us furniture out of his van parked beside the house. SER-I-OUS-LY!!!!! Jane, when you read this, will you please call me! Even years later, we need to report this! What the hell were we thinking? And what the hell were we laughing about?! It is very rare that I think this....but I'm speechless! ....and of course, laughing. What's wrong with me?!!

Well, how in the hell do I move on from that? Ok, I'm over it. Back to my great finds of the day!

So, next up I went to sale where I scored the coolest vintage Diets Like soda bottle; 'The Diet Drink of Seven-Up Quality'. Man, I LOVE old soda bottles with brands I've never heard of! What a stupendous addition to my collection!!!! If that weren't enough, the folks holding the sale were rocking out to Madness; One Step Beyond!!!!! That's seriously one of my favorite all time records!!! What a treat!!!! (I told you I had a great freakin' morning!)

After that, my streak of good timing came to a halt. I was twenty minutes early to a church sale and you know how punctual church sales are! They didn't open their doors til eight on the dot! That left me with the junker carnies for much too long but I really did talk to the nicest stuttering man so it wasn't so bad. When they finally parted the oak seas (ok, metal in this case), it was a mad rush! This always makes me a little anxious. I scooped up not one but two fantastic old wood barrels and a painting that with a little burst of color on it's frame will have to find a new home somewhere on my over crowded walls. And all this in under three minutes! There may have been more goodies inside but I had to get out of there! Crowds really freak me out! Ironic that I can handle the kitchen closet of death but a room full of scavenging bargain shoppers and I bolt! Well, we can be kind of scary!

Ok, well happy saling to you all! May your treasure chest be plentiful and may you never be bound and shackled while shopping! Enjoy!!!

Domestic Fashion, King Tut and Herbert Hoover

Smalls, smalls and more smalls! That's ok. Sometimes the big projects torment me to get them done but in actuality, end up in my garage pergatory. I should be able to transform today's booty into ca$h within a few hours! Here's how it all went down......

My first sale was only a block away (and a 6:30 sale at that!) but as I pulled up it looked as though it would be a drive by. Thank goodness I was still half asleep and I stopped because I got the cutest little girl's vintage Christmas apron for 50 cents! Oh how I love vintage Christmas! It must be all that red!
After that I was so excited to hit a church sale that has been phenomenal in the past but this time the lady said they had an antiques dealer come by to help them price things and Sweet Bejesus was it pricey! They actually had a love seat for $400!!!!! Who even brings that much cash to a yard sale? I was in and out of there in about 2 minutes! I did score an old tea cup stand for my daughter that she can put her necklaces on, a scrabble board and low and behold.....not one but two vintage aprons! One has a great old Egyptian print (which I learned years ago was all the rage in the earlier part of the last century after the discovery of King Tut's tomb in 1922) and the other is none other than vintage Christmas!!!! This holiday season I definitely have to have a cookie making party so I can distribute all of my vintage Christmas aprons and linens. I guess I just hold dear the image of holidays with my Nana with her adorable aprons in her wee little kitchen in Queens. Thank you, Nana, for giving me my taste in domestic fashion and also the knowledge that everything can be reused for another purpose! See.....The Great Depression had it's good merits!

Well, after that I got a great old Singer sewing machine base that with the right shabby wood top will make a great end table or plant stand. (Incidental, my grandfather on the other side was a Singer sewing machine salesman during The Great Depression. I'm told he did quite well, too given the times [I think we have a theme here today!])

The rest of my sales were all nothing special but each I did walk away with yard sale parting gifts. At one I got a three piece wooden pineapple bowl set that painted and shabbitized will be fantastic!! The next sale I got an etched wall mirror with a little bow for hanging (not great but at least it needs no work). After that, I got a super cool 'dinner only' sign in red that's newer but still a find. The gal said it's from something like Sinnerman's Inn downtown but I've never heard of it. Maybe I stopped there for lunch and they were closed....(ba da dah!). Next up I got a little pink flower frame that will go perfectly with last week's metal flowers for my daughter's room. The next sale I got an old wooden jewelery box that just seems more masculine to me so I think I'll paint it with my son in mind but you never know if I start seeing dollar signs or not so I won't mention it to him until I'm sure. Finally, my last stop looked like the epitome of a drive by but I stopped anyway and scored 45 individual paints that were barely used and each had $1.39 stickers on them but I got the whole box for $2!!!!! What a steal!!! So that about wraps it up. I must say I'm more yard sale sober than I'd like to be but sometimes all you need , like Herbert Hoover said .....' is a chicken in every pot'! Looks like I didn't get the stew today but I'll make do. Pity too because I know just what I'd wear!!

Child Preditors, Cat Piss and My Bathroom Delta

Not the morning I had hoped for. I had such a good route and all of my stops were priors so I thought I was totally going to knock it out of the park but nooooooo. Luckily I drove out to Rocky Point yesterday with Jane and Shawna to check out a camp for our kids. (Which incidentally I could have cared less what the place looked like but my girls had some reservations. It didn't surprise me because one of those ladies won't go on a cruise because she's certain someone is going to steal her daughter and sell her into the sex trade. She saw it on Oprah. It can happen. [But I love you, girl!]) Anyway, the camp seemed low on predators so we left feeling satisfied. To throw a cherry on top (sorry about my bad choice of words), we spotted a yard sale in a church out building. When we pulled up, there were several large toothless men sitting on the tailgates of their pick ups. I believe I heard banjo music too but I'm not sure. In fact if there was going to be any molesting going on this would be the place! I'm always down for a party though so we went in. For the love of God when we opened the door the smell of cat piss was beyond overwhelming!! I thought about just turning around but the creepy image of Billy Bob was much too fresh in my head so I dealt with the pungent odor. I was glad I did because I got a great vintage table cloth (which Jane repeatedly hinted that she would love for her birthday), an old toy wagon (which I got one hell of an ear full from the lady about how she pulled her handicapped cat, Mr. Tully, around in it for years) and finally I got a jar set on a stand that will shabbitize itself right into the new millennium. Oh and I got a headband for my daughter that the Cat Woman's handicapped sister crocheted. It seems everyone in her life is handicapped. I hope it has nothing to do with ingesting all this stagnant feline waste. To be on the safe side, we left. Jane scored an out of date decorating book (not jealous) and Shawna got a cute, small, red colander (way jealous!). And she didn't even want to stop!!! Oh well. A nice little unexpected bonus for the day. Now as for today.............

Glad I got a little fix yesterday because this morning has left me with money in my pocket and no junk dealer. What's up with that, yo? I won't bore you with the details of my sightseeing tour of Greater Wilmington but I will tell you that I got a great old suitcase with a couple of cool old stickers on it, 3 metal flowers that are already up in my daughter's room (and look amazing!) and lastly a much needed waste bin for my bathroom because my monsters flood my whole bathroom every time they take a bath and my current garbage can has completely rusted through (as did the one before it). This one is wood so perhaps it stands a chance. Maybe not. They've been known to get creative.

So, there you have it. Sorry to disappoint ya'll but really.......what have you done for me lately? I can only give so much!

Headed to Ivy Cottage................

A Need For Mobile Dermatology,Healthy Rocks For Kids and Un-Reality TV

It's funny. Some days I pull into my driveway and think I had a lame morning but as I look at this picture, I did a-ok! I guess since I mostly bought things for the store I didn't get giddy about them. Well, you decide your level of gaiety. Let's review, shall we?

I woke up before the alarm this morning (which is a way better way of starting a new day!). I was dressed and out the door in a flash excited to hit a 6:30 sale but it was nothing but kid's clothes. I was pissed but still remained hopefull because next up was a church sale. I got there early and thought I'd really clean up but once again....kid's crap! This time more plastic toys from China. They were apparently also screening for heart health or something in a trailer but I had to pass. When it comes to my ticker, a mobile unit just won't do. Skin peels on wheels......that I would consider. Hell if I don't burn through 50 SPF! I'm gonna be some leathery sight in my golden years!
Anyway, I left the church and went on to #3 only to find over priced goods and a dude who got snippy with me when I asked if he could do less on a chair. Just because you're moving, pal, and you obviously don't like your stuff enough to lug it around, doesn't mean I have to pay retail to fund your new life! All these new cable television shows are killing me! Everyone thinks that their junk is treasure. Have you ever done the math on American Pickers? There's no way that they can make any money on what they buy and sell after touring the country like that! They pay stupid money sometimes for stuff because they know it doesn't matter. The History Channel is paying their bills! Mike Wolfe, if you're listening, I love ya and all but you really need to leave Iowa with more singles!
Ok, now that I've done my public service announcement for the junker community, I will carry on with my adventures.....
No real reason to buckle up, pull down the safety bar and keep your hands in the car because #4, 5 AND 6 were ALL more kids crap! I did get an old glass bowl with a glass lid though for 50 cents. I'm trying to replace all my Tupperware with it's glass alternative so not to poison us when we heat our leftovers in the microwave but can we really fight The Beast when every one's buying little Johnny all this lead riddled crap from China?! Sure my daughter smashed my brother-in-law's back windshield with a rock. At least she was playing with rocks! Two hundred bucks was a small price to pay for a nice healthy pastime!
Back to my morning.....
So, next I still had some time before I could hit my 8 o'clockers so I went to Monique's Boutique sale which I nixed last night but turned out to be a worthy stop! I got a great (albeit beat up) old two tired pie crust table. It needs some serious love but will go through the shabbitization process like a champ! Ms. Monique only put it out to display her 'fine' jewelery but turns out an upside down cardboard box can achieve the same goal. Thanks!
So, finally I had a decent purchase! I was pumped that it broke the ice for my eights but my next sale was the dreaded just-graduated-college-girls who have that new found confidence at being adults and price the shit out of everything. I knew their kind before I even looked at their goods. (Major eye roll!!!) Open the door to the real world, ladies! Your Target crap ain't worth what ya think!
Next up was at a church which has stunk the past few times I've been there but this time I got a gumball machine, an already painted and shabbitized mirror and a nice old display case that will also shabbitze like a how-to video. It even has shells already in it so I don't have to write my little suggestions on the tags! I know that sounds a bit controlling but hell if it doesn't help sales!
After that, I stopped at a sale and got a great old metal pitcher. I don't know how great it really is but I can remember pouring 'bug juice' from one just like it at Camp Sacajawea Girl Scout Camp and I think it will make a great addition to my porch! Hmmm....possibly a planter...... It's the little things that get me excited!
From that sale, I went only a few blocks to score a reprint of and old photo on a piece of particle board that normally I would run from but this pic is of ladies in the 20's at the beach in their swim suits and it's so cool that even the Marshall's version can't fuck it up too badly. Definite resellablity!
My last sale was interesting because it was two neighbors who got together (which is normal) but the polar differences in these neighbors was what made me chuckle. The one guy had tattoos all over his neck and was selling car stereo equipment (?????). The other was a very polished dad with his two adorable little girls who was selling some nice furniture. I bought an end table from him but I really wished I could stick around to see how these two interacted. Like I always say, you just never know what you're gonna get out there in yard sale world! I wish The History Channel would contact me about a show! Then I'd have to set my hair and wear lots of make-up like that Cash for Cari broad. No thanks! Just don't think reality t.v. is ready for the likes of me just yet. I would love to hear the pitch though......"Mr. Important CEO, we've got a girl who leaves her house looking like a pan-handler, buys junk from yard sales, keeps 90% of it in her over crowded house, paints and shabbitizes the rest in her garage all while huffing the paint fumes." Man, if that doesn't have Emmy written all over it! (big sigh) Looks like I'll stick to the huffing.......

HIM, Life Under a Bridge and a New Career

Even though I woke up before the alarm went off, I still had a terrible time getting out of bed. I guess with the rain yesterday and Easter tomorrow I just figured it was going to be a lousy morning......and it was.....for the most part. Luckily my #1 was just around the corner so I didn't have to sleepwalk to the van until ten to seven. The ever-so-slight-drizzle made #1 bail so off I went to #2. Normally when I see this particular address I get excited but I wasn't alert enough to make the connection. I pulled up and it was none other than my boyfriend!! And to think he just had a yard sale a few weeks ago! I don't want to come to any conclusions but I think he's having these just so he can see me. I'm pretty sure he has a thing for homeless looking women with wild, frizzy bedhead and morning breath. Dude! I'm married! Poor guy! Anyway......his sale once again did not let me down. He seriously has the best shit in town....well.....second best after myself, of course! Come on! Second, especially now that I purchased an amazing yellow handled rolling pin with carved animals in it (which as you know I collect [see pic]), a Dallu Victoria Farm Kleen Milk bottle (super duper cool!), another jar, like a ball jar with a two piece lid only this one (which I've never seen before) has Canadian Jewel on it and the lid is aluminum on the screw part but then the insert is glass and has JEWEL Canada on it (love it!), and lastly I bought a folk art painting on a piece of wood of a cat that's signed by Clementine Reynolds which I googled and apparently is worth $150! Not bad for $5!!!! Can you see now why I find him...I mean his sales.....so dreamy?!
After that it all went downhill. (How could it not?). I went to four sales that all sucked. The fifth sucked too but it was in a cute old cottage under the big bridge and I've got to tell you, I completely fell in love with the deep baritone sounds the cars made as they drove overhead! I want to live under a bridge now!! I thought I was lucky to currently live on a main street with the pretty sounds of the urban waves (cars shushing) and to have previously lived by a graveyard (best neighbors in town!) but now I have a new request to add to my stunned realtor. I also LOVE the sound of driving through old covered wooden bridges (only with the slats horizontal) but that would be pushing it! And then there's slow box cars! Ahh...a girl can dream!!!
Where was I? Oh yeah, two more sales sucked then I scored a very fancy mirror just screaming to be painted and shabbitized! Probably the only thing I'm going to sell from this morning to make any money. Oh well. When Mama's happy, every body's happy!!
From there I went to four more worthless sales and was headed home when I figured I might as well go back to my boyfri......my favorite yard sale house just to see if he brought anything else out and sure enough I got a great old painting of trees in a great old frame that had some funk on it but it cleaned up like a champ! I've walked around my house a dozen times and can't quite find a home for it but something tells me I'll make it happen. I'm like an antiques social worker! So much talent I tell ya!!! I wear many vintage hats!

Dining Room

Some peeps have been saying that I don't post enough 'afters'. Here is a pic of my own dining room complete with my lovely new table, glass balls, Union Jack stool, red coffee grinder, wall of mirrors, vintage suitcase and in the back, the newly painted green leaf bowl. Quite frankly EVERYTHING is from yard sales but those items are just from the past few weeks. Happy now?